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Hello, Sailor! Care to Show A Comic A Good Time?

patreonThis is Day Two of Patreon GreedFest 2014, a shameless spectacle of cyber-begging for the benefit of Raging Pencils.

Patreon, in case you don't know, is a new system used by thousands of web sites that allows people like you to make micro-payments, as little as a buck a month, to people like, well, me, the guy who creates the 'toons that makes you leap out of bed with excitement every morning and rush over to your laptop for a long, hearty chuckle.

The question you're probably asking yourself, because you're the smartest and cutest comic readers on the 'net, is "What would I get from my hard-earned buck that I wouldn't get by just sitting here with both hands down my pants like I normally do?"

The answer to that supremely thought-provoking and momentous question is.... bupkis. Not a damn thing, except knowing you're making me purr like a Chinese hydraulic kitty every time I hear the cha-ching of another sucker rising to the bait. Heck, you could even donate $3 a month. Same thing.


But choose the $8-a-month option and I'll happily caricature the person of your choice and make him/her/it the relevant feature of a future Raging Pencils comic. (This is a once-a-year-option, rule-lawyers.) Heck, I'll even send you the original art and throw in a color copy to put under your pillow so you'll have sweet, progressive dreams about Elizabeth Warren forever and ever.

Plus there's this: If I receive enough pledges I'll expand Raging Pencils to 5-days-a-week, or even 7-days a week, and all it'll cost you is the price of a Taco Bell Crispy Potato Soft Taco per month. (Message from Taco Bell legal department: "Taco Bell is not associated with this Raging Pencils thing. Not ever. Not in a million fucking years. We're serious. This guy really sucks. Come buy our burritos.)

So whaddaya say? Can ya help a cartoonist out? If so then click here or any of the happy, snappy Patreon images on this page to get started frittering away those three pennies a day you were stashing away as down payment for that coveted Monet.

Whether you contribute or not , thanks! You are the wind beneath my wild wings. (Memo from Wild Wing legal department: "Wild Wings is not associated with Raging Pencils. Not even in the period measured by the half-life of tellurium-128.")

In case you're still confused, here's a video about how Patreon works.


Concerning today's comic, it's not literally accurate but there are seven states with laws still on the books which go something like this one from South Carolina:

"No person who denies the existence of a Supreme Being shall hold any office under this Constitution."

The other states are those enclaves of enlightenment Texas, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Maryland and Pennsylvania.

These laws were overturned as a result of the 1961 U.S. Supreme Court case Torasco vs. Watkins and yet, in 1993 an atheist named Herb Silverman fought an 8-year battle in South Carolina over this very issue, and won.

It seems to me that I'd prefer a candidate who didn't believe in imaginary men living in the clouds, or that the Earth is only 6000 years old, or that a cosmic zombie is going to descend from Heaven and destroy the Earth. It sounds.... kind of nutty, don't it?

The sad truth is that it's nigh impossible for an atheist to get elected to public office in this country because, well, I'm not sure. (U.S. Representative Kyrsten Sinema almost admits to being an atheist.) I guess Americans are the kind of people who just can't trust a guy that doesn't play make-believe.


end rant

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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

Man: Why does this state restrict atheists from holding public office?
Geezer: Because atheists would make laws that keep religious people from violating atheist civil rights.
Man: Yes! That would be SO unfair.
Geezer: Plus you'd probably get all sarcastic about it.

Man: I'm sorry. I just thought that Jesus loved all mankind.
Geezer: SARCASM!.


Overturn Citizens United