This
Little Irritating Piggy
I have
an ingrown toenail. I hate it not because of the throbbing
discomfort and the occasional spurt of pus,
but because it reminds me of my own mortality in the
most
minor
way
possible.
Most people lapse into morose introspection after
contracting a horrible disease or suffering a traumatic
accident.
Me? Toenail.
I don't mean to infer that I'm contemplating snuffing
it over an achy toe-bone. More like wallowing
in self-pity because my polka-dancing is temporarily kiboshed.
Oh, the agony.
Still, it's fascinating in its own peculiar way as
I'm more in touch with my pedal extremities than ever
before. I now know more about the structure of the
big toenail than
I
ever
thought
possible,
especially
after excavating for a couple of hours with a cuticle
scissors and a grapefruit spoon, excising stray bits
of keratin, flesh, and the occasional dead squirrel.
It's all very unpleasant but it's my own fault, of
course. Years of careless trimming resulted in the
nail incrementally
trespassing
into
forbidden
space. Frankly, I don't even know why we need the darned
thing.
And how did the Romans or the early Americans trim
their toenails? Did they even HAVE toenails back then,
or are these Guglielmo Marconi's fault?
All I know is that from now on I'll be conforming to
accepted normality by trimming straight across instead
of carving the Big T into a more aesthetically pleasing
canoe
shape. The vast community of Polka Heads will thank
me for it.
BTW, no cards or flowers. The Toe family asks that
you instead send donations to the National Association
of Federations.
------------
As for the cartoon: I'm really not kidding here. The
way the Right legislates against education, libraries,
school lunches, Head Start, day care, maternity leave
(In Norway mothers get a full year of maternity leave),
you'd almost think they get some sort of perverse pleasure
from it. Especially in light of the fact they seem
to want to leave women with no option BUT to bear child
after child.
To some, the portrait I've painted here may seem dark,
but in my view it's not dark enough.
=Lefty=
----------------
Oh, that Mitt.
On
June 6th Mitt Romney said: "With America in crisis,
with 23 million people out of work or stopped looking
for work, he hasn't’t put forth a plan to get us
working again. Now I know we’re getting close
to an election so he’ll come out with one soon,
but three and a half years later, we’re waiting."
Mitt has a point... if you disregard the stimulus,
the auto bailout, TARP, and the American Jobs Act which
the Republican led House has stonewalled because there's
nothing that a Republican hates worse than a successful
negro.
Mitt Romney is a liar. A big fat, liar. And thinks the rest of us are stupid,
besides.
---------------------
And now our Chart of the Day:
Media
Consolidation: Illusion of Choice (Really,
Pew Research? WTF?)
See
the complete chart here.
------------
Republican Job Creation Update
6-15-2012: The
House is in recess until the 18th of June. And, before
you ask, no jobs were created.
For the full 2001-2012 list of Republican sloth
please visit republicanjobcreation.com.
------------
Fox News Lies. Dump
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Mitt
Romney isn't the only one that has trouble with doughnuts.
Fox News Eric
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