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Dirty Books

dinotopiaWhen I was a very young man I chanced upon my father's stash of girlie magazines concealed, of all places, under his mattress. It was, as you might expect, an elevating experience.

Not having access to the kind of women who would willingly adopt the same modest standards of attire as the lovely ladies gracing the pages of "Titter" and "Escapade" I began a long and complicated courtship involving each and every one of them, and proceeded to go on many "dates" with Susie, Mary, Joan, and all of their goose-pimpled compadres.

They were my world and our love was everlasting.

If these publications had also introduced the concept of eternal damnation for lusting after women in other magazines or offered the hope of everlasting life in a modeling studio in the clouds I honestly believe I could have willingly become a devout follower of the air-brushed gospel, possibly even going door-to-door across the country to introduce the unwashed to the glory and splendor of oversaturated exploitative photography.

Luckily, there were no such psychological tar babies within those sticky pages and I eventually outgrew the fantasy, moving on to real women with a little porn on the side.

Okay, a lot.

The Bible, though, if you think about it, is not unlike like low-grade porn. You only read it for the good parts and, frankly, if you remove the sections about Heaven and Hell it becomes just another XXX snuff-film, but without the money-shot.


Because you asked, I made an overpriced bumper-sticker reflecting the sentiments of today's cartoon, available now at zazzle.com. Thanks for caring.

cure brain cancer bumber sticker



Mitt Romney Is A Big Fat Liar.

big fat liarThere's a new Mitt Romney campaign ad that catches the president hailing reductions in public sector employment.

Only.... it's just another case where the Romney media wizards creatively edited one of the president's speeches where he lays the blame for low public employment levels right where it belongs, at the hob-nailed Florsheims of Republican state officials.

Mitt Romney is a liar. A big fat, liar. And thinks the rest of us are stupid, besides.


And now our Chart of the Day: Church Attendance vs. the Dow Jones Average (Really, Pew Research? WTF?)

church attendance versus the dow  jones average
Much, larger version of the chart here.


Republican Job Creation Update

republican job creation6-13-2012: The House is in recess until the 18th of June. And, before you ask, no jobs were created.

For the full 2001-2012 list of Republican sloth please visit republicanjobcreation.com.


Fox News Lies. Dump Fox News

Fox News Lies! Mitt Romney said he's going to fire public workers (only he really won't) but he went on Fox News to lie about what he said, anyway.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.

end rant

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Today's Google Chow.

Man 1: Years ago I discovered I had a form of brain cancer, but I was able to cure it myself.

Man 2: That's amazing! How did you do that?

Man 1:I threw out my Bible.

Overturn Citizens United