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Let's Phage the Music and Dance.

bacteriaA 2011 Gallup poll revealed that 43% of Americans do not hold the tenets of evolution to be acceptable. I suppose this fundamental chunk of the populace must think some big, hairy, white guy living in the clouds created all known life.

Wacky, eh?

One major argument by these otherwise fine folks is that evolution cannot possibly be real because we can't see it in action. We don't, for instance, ever see a fry cook spontaneously growing a third arm, the better to slather mayonnaise on a bun and pick his nose while simultaneously keeping the rats at bay with the salad tongs.

So the problem, as I see it, is one of scale. If, instead of the six-foot mammals we are, we lived our lives as sentient bacteria we'd much more easily perceive the effects of evolution wreaking havoc on our lives, higgledy-piggledy.

And yet, no doubt there would still be creationist bacteria infesting the populace, waiting expectantly for their Anti-bacterial Armageddon. And in this regard, they'd probably be correct.


Who Wants to Be A Cartoon Character?

it's snipe hunt time!We're in the home stretch for Raging Pencils Narcissist Hullabaloo and eBay Snipe-Off and I wish to thank everyone who's shown an interest in my desperate little ploy for attention thus far.

If case you're new here the high-bidder of this particular eBay auction will get to have the face of his or her choice caricatured in a future Raging Pencils cartoon.

I say "face of choice" because this prize would also make a great gift. Just imagine your mother's expression when she opens Raging Pencils home page one day in the near future and beholds a vague facsimile of herself concussing a Wall Street oligarch with the aid of an oversized George W. Bush butt plug. It'll be a magic moment, one that will be discussed at your funeral for years to come.

The auction ends at 9:30 AM CST, on Monday the 21st of May.
And to all of those who bid and don't win I'd like you to remember the soothing words of my uncle Phil: "Auction, schmauction. Just send the money by mail. Cash, no checks."

I hate uncle Phil.



Note: No Notes or Charts of the Day today. My tempus is dangerously short on fugits. I'm sure you understand.


Republican Job Creation Update

republican job creation5-18-2012: The House passed a watered-down Violence Against Women Act. Basically, if you're an immigrant or a native American woman, you're fair game for any sadist. They'll pass a major defense funding bill tomorrow and then will take the next week off. No jobs were created.

Note for posterity: Today marked the largest number of visitors to the republicanjobcreation.com web site since its inception. Numbers are still coming in fast and heavy as I write this but it's very gratifying that people are taking notice.


Fox News Lies. Dump Fox News

Fox News Lies! Mitt Romney's Bain Capital rapes GST Steel's pension plan in 2001. Now that it's salient to the election Fox News actively covers it up.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.

end rant

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Today's Google Chow.

Bob: It's not you, Eileen. I just think we need to see other people.

Eileem: But, Bob, I... WHOA!

Bob: Sigh. Drama queens.

Bob: Oh, natural selection. Is there any problem you can't solve?

Eileen: Imminent extinction?

Eileen 2: Stretch marks.

Love under the microscope.

Overturn Citizens United