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Dances With Wolf Girls

wolf girlWhile it's true that you couldn't, through intensive breeding programs, alter a dog's outward appearance to closely resemble a human in a mere 60 years, I'll bet it could still be done in a reasonable number of decades. The dog, as we all know, has a very plastic gene and reproduces like, well, rabbits.

As far as I know, in a world full of Labradoodles and Pomskys, there's no law against attempting such a physical reconstruction but there's no doubt that the "ick factor" would be off the charts.

For one thing, the creature would still have a dog's brain and it's very unlikely that it would be able to talk due to the unique way the human tongue and trachea work. So it would still act like a dog, although breeding for intelligence would have to be part of the program. It'd be a smart dog, at least.

Would a creature like this be a good helper animal for invalids? Would it happily flip burgers for minimum wage? At what point, as far as the bestiality laws go, does this type of creature cease being a dog? Would the Supreme Court weigh in on "one drop" tests?

Most importantly (as this would drive the fundies crazy) if god made us in his image what does it say about humans when we start making dogs in god's image?

Update 6-1-2012: I postulated in all seriousness about such creatures being used for prostitution. You may think that idea outside the bounds of human decency but wait'll you read about this orangutan used as a sex slave in Borneo.


Who Wants to Be A Cartoon Character?

it's snipe hunt time!We're down to the final few hours of Raging Pencils eBay Impulse Purchase Spectacular and I'd like to take a moment to let you all know how deeply disappointed I am.

To put it mildly, I cannot believe that you guys are bidding on this junk. Aren't there any used ketchup packets or mildewed cat hair-balls or Mitt Romney campaign promises on eBay more worthy of your hard-earned simoleons than being caricatured in one of my cartoons?

Aw, well. Guess there's no accounting for tastes. Either that or Karl Rove is shilling the bidding and will demand a refund from Paypal after Dick Cheney tapes it to Harry Whittington's face and uses it for target practice.

If you're still inclined to cast your pearls before my cartoony swine the auction ends at 9:30 AM CST, on Monday the 21st of May. And may Cthulhu have mercy on your souls.

Update: The auction is finally over (Congratulations, Wardz2005!) and I wish to thank all of the participants for their, uh, participation. So until we auction again, thanks for being the best and most easily-beguiled audience in the whole, wide, world wide web.



Notes, Notes, and More Notes.

Liar Alert: Mitt Romney is such a liar that the Washington Post created a new category in his honor: "Repeat Offender".

: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee sent out a fundraising letter calling Obama supporters "political whores". Yeah, that's statesmanship.

Sleaze: The GOP hired con artists to head voter registration drives in California. Guess how that turned out? Two words: Voter Fraud!

Good Guy Story: Rankin Paynter paid $200,000 to purchase the remaining contents of a K-Mart store that was going out of business. He then donated it all to the poor. Nice guy!

Heresy: Gotta hand it to the jews... they can't eat bacon but at least they don't try to criminalize it.

Humor: "Mitt Romney believes that marriage should be between one man and one woman. Which is better than his grandfather, who believed that it should be between one man and five women." -Jimmy Kimmel


And now our Chart of the Day: Net change in Government Spending During First Term

net change in government spending chart

Big honkin' version here.


Republican Job Creation Update

republican job creation5-21-2012: On Friday the House passed a bloated defense spending bill, even though they were obligated to cut defense spending as part of the Super Committee agreement. Not only did the new bill include discriminatory language it also included an amendment allowing the government to institute propaganda against the American people. The president has vowed to veto this bill. No jobs were created unless you count the military contractors rolling in effluent streams of your tax dollars.

For the full 2001-2012 list of Republican sloth please visit republicanjobcreation.com.


Fox News Lies. Dump Fox News

Fox News Lies! Fox News has no problem distorting polls, even their own.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.

end rant

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Today's Google Chow.

Scientist: It took me 60 years but I finally bred a dog to look just like a human.

Man: Wow. Nice to meet you. What's your name?

Scientist: Dude, it's a dog.

Overturn Citizens United