Honk
Smash!
 "Honk
if you love Jesus" is, if you think about it,
a really tepid attempt at drawing unwarranted
attention to
oneself. After all, what's another electro-bleat in
the sea of noise that surrounds the average motorist?
Without
doubt
a person would
garner an enhanced degree of consideration by acting
on the advice
of the following bumper stickers:
"Set a nursery school on fire if you
love Jesus."
"Walk
naked down the
median of the interstate highway if you love Jesus."
"Fly
an airliner into a skyscraper if you love Allah, uh,
I mean, Jesus."
You see where I'm going with this?
And why limit such requests to Jesus alone? There are
certainly many other Biblical characters worthy of
a situationally-appropriate shout-out. For
instance:
• Discard your rear-view mirror if you love Lot.
• Drive aimlessly for 40 years if you love Moses.
• Run over a pedestrian if you love Job.
• Caravan to Florida if you love Methuseleh.
• Drive into the river if you love Noah.
• Get eaten by a fat girl if you love Jonah.
• Get a buzz-cut if you love Delilah.
Better yet:
• Give god the finger if you're an atheist.
--------------
Who
Wants to Be A Cartoon Character?
 This
is just
an obnoxious reminder that Raging Pencils Narcissist Extravaganza and eBay Auction is
staggering into its third day.
Bidding has thus far been light but I'm certain many
of you are quietly mustering your finances for the
final few seconds,
whereupon you will snipe yourselves into web-comic
Glory. (And if you don't, you're fools. FOOLS, I say!)
Need I offer a further reminder that the high-bidder
of this
fershlugginer auction is awarded the singular gift
of being caricatured
in
a future Raging Pencils comic? Plus you'll receive the
artwork itself. Plus I'll perform a vaginal ultrasound
on you over the phone, even if you don't have a vagina. (Carl
Kassel, eat your heart out.)
The auction ends at 9:30 AM CST, on Monday the 21st of May. What can I say other
than the faster you get this thing over with the sooner I can quit begging for
your pity and
get
back to Judge Judy.
=Lefty=
----------------
Notes, Notes, and More Notes.
History: Six
ridiculous lies you believe
about the founding of America.
Politics: Republicans have blocked legislation
using
the filibuster in records amounts since Obama
was elected. Turns out, what they've been doing is
actually illegal, so Democrats are suing. Good
luck, gents!
Sleaze: Propaganda gas-bag Rush
Limbaugh was "honored" today in a curiously abrupt, secretive
event in the Missouri capitol building.
Science Nerdgasm: Paralyzed
man regains use of his hands after surgery was
performed to
rewire
his nerves.
Heresy: Three
things that religion
does well.
Humor: "I can calculate
the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness
of people." - Sir Isaac Newton
------------
And now our Chart of the Day: U.S. Air Force
aircraft identification chart
Big
honkin'
version here.
------------
Republican Job Creation Update
 5-16-2012: The
House was not in session on Monday, but on Tuesday
the legislators busied themselves passing noncontroversial
suspension bills. Ho-hum. No jobs were created, but
you already knew that.
------------
Fox News Lies. Dump
Fox News
 Did
you know that hundreds of thousands of scientists
deny
climate change? On Fox News they do, and nowhere
else.
Click here to help Drop
Fox from your cable system. |
