Be Kind. Rewind.... The Election.

The following story is a work of fiction… as far as I know. I considered making a multi-page illustrated version but I think it works as-is.

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It's a hot, mid-summer's day in the midwest. A man dressed in black and wearing dark glasses approaches an awkward teenaged boy at a firing range.

"Hey, kid. Your name Senz? Louis Senz?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, Louis. Today's your lucky day as America needs your help."

"My help, sir? Really!"

"Yes. You see, Louis, this country is in trouble of being taken over by woke Democratic elites so we really hope that the Republican candidate wins this coming presidential election."

"I hope so, too, sir. But what do you need me for?"

"We need you and your gun, Louis. You’re gettin’ pretty good with that thing, aren’t you?"

"I-I-I guess so. Do you need help with security or something?"

"No, Lou. We need you come to his rally this week and pretend to assassinate our candidate."

"Assassinate!? What are you talking about? That sounds crazy! Who are you?!"

"Now hold on. What I mean is, we just want you to pop off a few rounds in his direction, though you won’t actually aim at him."

"Uh-huh. Really? And how will that help him win the election?"

"Think, Lou. Think. It's because patriotic Americans will be outraged that someone tried to kill him and the whole country will rush to his support. He'll be unstoppable"

"Say! That’s real smart! But won’t it have to look like he was really shot?"

"Don’t worry. That's all taken care of. A little red blood for the cameras is all we need."

"Blood!?"

"Fake blood. Stage blood. He's not just a politician, you know. He's a TV guy. He knows all about this stuff."

"Well... okay. But why me?"

"Because you’re a kid from a good Republican family and we certainly don’t want another nigger in the White House. Now do we?"

"Welllll, ummm, won’t I get in trouble for this?"

"Sure, but only at first. After he wins he’ll give you a magnanimous pardon. 100% Christian charity. You’ll be famous just like that Rittenhouse kid."

"Oh, yeahhh. Him. Okay, I’ll do it, but you gotta promise you’ll take care of me."

"Ohhhh, don’t worry. We know all about how to take care of Lou Senz."

- Lefty