Lost In Translation

This 'toon reflects an actual event, to best of my recollection.

I was listening to NPR last week as I was concocting something healthy and delicious for dinner (Okay, it was pizza!) and I heard the exact conversation of which I'm satirizing. When I heard the speaker spit out the words "traditional family values" my left eye started twitching and i had the strong desire to find my passport.

Yes, I'd known of the anti-trans ads of which the GOP spent over a $100 million dollars larding the airways with leading up to the election but now I knew who they aimed them at and BOY did it work.

Worse, even, is that Madame President is still out there claiming children are having sex changes at school. And that's because she knows that way too many Americans are short a sandwich in their picnic basket.

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"Hello. Barack Obama? Uh, yeah, listen. The GOP wants to make it legal to run for a third term. What are you doing in 2028?"

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BTW, on the subject of Trump trying to end birthright citizenship, you DO know he runs hotels in Florida where wives of Russian oligarchs come to have their babies so that the little nippers'll have dual-citizenship, right?

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The biggest impediment to Medicare For All are the insurance companies. So how about we cancel our insurance and then pay for health costs out of pocket as long as it takes to drive the insurance companies out of business. THEN we can implement Medicare For All.

I guarantee you that your doctor will be happy to take your cash and avoid the horrors of dealing with the insurance companies every time you go in for a checkup.

Yes, there are flaws in this off-the-cuff plan of mine but have you SEEN how screwed up the modern American health insurance industry is lately?

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Conservatives have historically opposed Communism and Liberalism. Both were philosophies that denied the basic desire of selfish bastards to accumulate ALL the money for themselves. And they just HATED that.

These days Russia is no longer communist, it’s an oligarchy, which is greed on steroids and pure catnip to the modern Conservative. Which explains all the pro-Russian (and pro-Saudi) types in Congress and the White House.

So, after many years of slow frog-boiling, America is now an oligarchy, and an American oligarchy does not have room for poor people. The poor don’t know how to be rich and therefore are useless, except for when they’re being held by their ankles and being shaken for every last taxable dime. Or, in the case of hard-working migrants, being used as scapegoats to frighten White Americans into giving up their imagined freedom for speculative security.

To our new Oligarchy, the poors won’t really need Social Security, as who can live on that pathetic amount, anyway. So why not shift that massive tranch of money, those trillions of beautiful dollars, into something useful. Like Trump cyber-coin?

And Medicare/Medicaid? Please. Like the justice system you get what you pay for, and if you can’t afford to pay for your cancer treatment out of pocket then please die, and die quickly. That's always been the Republican health care plan.

Usually at the end of my little tirades I try to fashion a hopeful coda, but the best I can suggest here is that if times get rough you can always join the military as there will always be room for more cannon fodder.

Just ask Vladimir Putin.

- Lefty