Let's All Go the Moooo-vies

Early Friday morning I checked the forecast for Inauguration Day in Washington and was delighted to see it was going to be witches tits cold. I chuckled and cackled and shared the news with all my social media chums.

It was brass monkey cold, I said, because God hates Trump.

I know that because it rained during the 2017 swearing-in ceremony. God did that, because God hates Trump. Later Trump claimed/lied that God halted the precipitation just long enough to allow him to place his tiny hand on the Bible, lie his fat ass off, and then ripped off a speech that even had that quisling idiot, Dubya, saying "That was some weird shit."

So of course it'll be really cold in Washington because God hates Trump. (And Reagan, too, as it turns out. 3 degrees below zero in 1985. But I digress.)

But, as we all know by now, the Inaugural has been moved into the well-heated confines of the Capitol.

So what about all of Trump's supporters, of whom will no doubt claim would have formed the largest Inaugural crowd in history? I mean the biglyest ever!

Anyone without a functioning cerebral cortex knows by now that Trump could give two shits about his idiot voters freezing their tiny testicles off in the cold, even if he took the oath in some sort of heated cubicle on the steps of the Capitol. Trump knows he doesn't need his supporters any more. He's King now, you see.

So now his voters, the one's who had sense enough to stay home, will remain snug and warm in their trailers on the 20th, gently caressing their assault rifles, if not a pliable first cousin, as Fox News remarks with glowing emphasis over every single burp or fart their Golden Child makes.

And God will laugh. Along with Martin Luther King.

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Truth be told, Trump moved indoors because the could weather would significantly reduce the size of the crowd, making it pathetically small.

Bad optics, you know. Can't have that.

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I'm disappointed in the decision to move the Inauguration indoors because I was kind of hoping that Trump would be so cold his chattering dentures would have made it impossible for him to complete the Oath of Office.

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I honestly think the "go to the movies plan" is worth considering. Many people will have the day off, owing to the MLK holiday, so they might as well have one last brief splash of fun before all Hell breaks loose on the 21st, if not the 20th.

- Lefty