Tryin'
To Wash Us Away
Louisiana's got their Ten Commandments, which is all about
guilt and punishment. I got my own version, which relies
more on self-awareness:
1. Honor this planet for thy children must live in the one
you leave behind.
2. Thou shalt not kill thy environment.
3. Thou art all pink on the inside and share the same DNA.
You are all related.
4. Thou art a bipedal meat-puppet guided by a raging chemical
slumgullion of hormones. Deal with it.
5. There is no such thing as "sin", but mental
disorders are real.
6. Thou shalt beware of imaginary friends and those who
say it needs money.
7. Read more than just one book.
8. Remember the peer-reviewed research and keep it holy.
9. Knowest thou that, contrary to public opinion, this the
only life you shall ever have.
10. Thou shalt not use Middle English to make declarations
sound all mystical and shit. Oh… wait.
--------------
And now, I am am pleased to introduce to you, Mr. Jesse
Welles.
His
stuff is fantastic and he's new on Youtube. He has lots of
original progressive songs and they're all worth a listen.
Check him and out and share. We need more like him sharing
his messages.
---------------
It's time to feed the cats so I grab the bag and notice it's
labeled "C*t Ch*w Complete".
"Complete"? Complete what?
So I read the back and it says "For cats to live their
best and brightest, their food needs the right balance of
protein, fats, carbs and great taste". The next sentence
is not, as you might hope, "And that's in every bag
of this stuff!".
Uh, no.
It goes on to double-speak "That's the purpose
of our Cornerstones of Nutrition, your guide to ensuring
the nutrients in our food, including chicken and omega-6,
are balanced and delicious."
Basically, "You need to read the list of ingredients,
Jack, and try not to read too much into the words 'chicken
by-product meal'".
So "complete" in this case is just a word slapped
on the bag to increase its marketing throw-weight. Like the
words "green", "low-fat", or "eco-friendly".
Shame on them.
In any case, this stuff is described by veterinarians as "diabetes
in a bag" but we buy it because it's cheap. Shame on
us, really.
-
Lefty
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