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The progressive comic about the uselessness of guns.

end rant

One Hand-Gun Clapping

When a shooter runs amuck, as they often do in this country, innocent people end up dying. But we all feel better when the cops arrive with the heavy artillery and take the perp out. Except the dead people, of course. They don't feel anything but dead.

I got to thinking about this while on a bike ride yesterday. I passed a grizzled end-timer in an NRA t-shirt which was graced by exactly the kind of clever graphic repartee you'd expect from someone with presumably cold, dead hands.

I pondered to myself as I pedaled onward "I should have stopped and asked him what he would do if I skulked quietly up behind him and blew his brains out with one of his favorite Second Amendment play-toys?"

You and I, dear reader, know exactly what he would have said. He would have yelped "Whut the hay-yull!?" spattered with terbacky-herbed saliva and then proceed to shove the closest murder machine he could grab up my nose all the while casting various unpleasant aspersions toward she who birthed me.

Guns aren't an answer to any problem, not even this "I hate that muthafukkah!" ones, though exclusions can be made be for those who are hungry and not a vegetarian.

The Second Amendment, in case you forgot, was intended to allow slave-owners to keep their property safe and secure (Or else!) down on the old antebellum farms. 500,000 dead Americans and 160 years later that damned Amendment ain't doing nobody no damn good.

Except the 6 O'clock news. A media mogul's gotta eat, right? No one's sitting though five minutes of highly profitable pharmaceutical ads to view a puff piece about Mamaw's surprise kitten birthday.


Trump: "I never heard of Stormy Daniels. Oh, that Stormy Daniels. There's no way I paid her $130,000 to shut her up about an alleged affair we had. Well, yeah, she really did get that money but it was my attorney who paid it, and he paid her out of his own pocket. It had nothing to do with me. Erm, well, okay, he paid the money but it was from fees I paid him as my attorney. Yes, it's very unusual to just give your attorney free money like that but I'm a generous billionaire. Everyone knows that. Yes, I pay him a salary, he just gave it to her for his own reasons. Oh, my name is on the check? A check drawn on my trust fund? .......It never happened! Never, ever, ever and I don't know why you're asking me these questions! Is anyone else cold in here?" <poooot!>

- Lefty

end rant

Lefty News for May 6, 2024

Judge Merchan threatens Trump with jail, the hoose-gow, the crossbar hotel.

For the first time in American history, fucking billionaires have a lower tax rate than blue-collar workers.

Funding for cancer shot down by Republicans because Biden voters would like it.

Trump signed off on sex scandal hush-money payments in the Oval Office.

ProPublica wins Pulitzer Prize for articles revealing lavish gifts to Supreme Court justices.

If you need a break from the insanity that swirls around us
then enjoy the fuzzy love of The Project:

the infinite cat project

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We all knew it'd come to this eventually.


Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

Police: We offered cake to people who had died of starvation.
We handed out bottled water to the drowning victims.
We gave parachutes to victims of the plane crash.
We shot the gunman after he'd already killed several shoppers.

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