June Lunacy

Yeah, I know.

This is the time of year when I should be creating 'toons featuring elves and reindeer and jolly old St. Nick in various awkward or schmaltzy predicaments, but I had enough encouragement from lads and, presumably, lasses on social media venues aplenty to see this "Year In Review" thing through to the end that I just might just do it. Though due to the December version being in ludicrously close proximity to, well, December, the gags may feel more topical than usual if, that is, I can fit it in what with all the seasonal frivolity rising out of the hot tub, wearing a skimpy bikini, clenching a rose in its teeth and calling my name with more than just a hint of drunken ardour...

What was I talking about? Oh, yeah.... Santa.

The famous Clement Moore poem describing a typical visit by chubby old Nicky paints his personage as one of diminutive stature, a "right tiny old elf". And his conveyance is no larger, referred to as "eight tiny reindeer and a miniature sleigh". If parents, and mass media, had stuck to this version parents wouldn't have had to invent new mythology about Santa shrinking and growing with each ingress and egress.

"But how could such a teensy Santa carry all those toys?" the kiddies might ask.

Good question, because we assume a normal, 6' 2" Santa is big enough to heft that load but, in truth, Mr. Claus should really be the size of the Sears Tower, a Santa-zilla, so to speak, with proportionally-sized bags of goodies crammed into his Hoover Dam-sized sleigh pulled by a team of Goodyear blimp-sized reindeer. He could then be understood by the little ones to be large enough to wield his load o' presents AND be magic enough to shrink to lilliputian size to not only land softly on the roof but to get down the chimbly, as Seuss might say, or sneak in through the thermostat in homes that lack a proper fireplace. Santasaurus is win-win, people!

Or parents could make it easy on themselves and plop their young 'uns in front of a copy of "Arthur Christmas" the moment their greed genes kick in as it offers the most logical explanation of the whole, unbelievably altruistic process. If you haven't seen the movie already then by all means do as it has the Lefty Seal of Approval.

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What other grists escaped my meandering mill this time? These:

Debt ceiling bill signed into law.
Trump accuses E. Jean Carroll of defamation.
Illinois passes law to prevent book bans.
Arizona Gov issues order that protects abortion rights.
Denver Nuggets, LV Golden Knights win first Championships.
US Army renames Fort Bragg to Fort Liberty.
Supreme Court decrees companies can sue strikers for damage.
Poll: 93% of Americans say teachers are overworked and underpaid.
Boebert misses vote on debt ceiling deal she pledged to vote against.
Biden vetoes bill that would block his student loan forgiveness program.
Trump says he would accept a plea deal if bribed sufficiently.
Nazis and Desantis supporters (same thing) protest outside Disney World.
PGA and LIV announce plans to merge.
U.S. rejoins UNESCO to thwart Chinese influence.
IOWA SC decide abortion still legal.
Titanic tourist submersible lost.
FL anti-immigrant law sparks mass exodus.
Poll: 61% of American disapprove of SC overturning Roe.
DOJ charges 78 people with $2.5 billion in health-care-fraud.
Supreme Court nixes Biden student loan forgiveness.
Mike Pence declares candidacy for prez.
Lab-grown chicken approved for sale.
SC rejects independent state legislature theory.