Hangman
When I heard that the Fox News Xmas tree caught fire
my first thought was "There IS a Santa Claus!"
My second thought was "Fox will find a way to blame
Biden for this."
It's no surprise the tree was assaulted. I mean,
look at how it was dressed. It was ASKING for it.
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Biden: "The world needs to stand up against Putin."
Tucker Carlson: "Putin's a person, too! You leave
Britney, uh, I mean, you leave Vladimir alone!"
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The "Snow Miser" song is now accepted as
an Xmas song suitable for irritating innocent shoppers.
What's next? The "Batman Returns" theme song?
Instead, how about a Jethro
Tull Xmas song?
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Anyone who says "I love my gun" may as well
be saying "I love my shoe" or "I love
my toaster".
It's not love. Love is between humans. Getting a squirt
of oxytocin from thinking about or touching a cold
and unreceptive chunk of consumer goods is demented.
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(Semi-actual conversation)
*ring*: "Hello?
Foreign Voice: "Hello, this is the health department."
Me: "Whoa! What'd I do now?"
Voice: "Nothing, sir. We're just checking to see
if you still have the old Social Security card."
Me: "Yes. Yes, I do."
Voice: "Very good. Could you give me that number,
please, so I can check?"
Me: "Yes. It's F-U-C-K-Y-O..."
And then they hung up.
Now I'll never know if I have the right card.
=Lefty=
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