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The progressive editorial cartoon about water pollution.

start rant


The Drake Equation is a famous attempt to estimate the possible number of advanced civilizations in the Milky Way galaxy. It's an intriguing formula but it fails to address one essential criteria… language.

Yes, I know. The equation specifies "intelligent life" but that could mean alien life-forms that have the ability to play the accordion but not be able to request "Freebird".

The Earth has been home to untold millions of species of animals over the past 4.5 billion years and in all that time humans are the only critters able to communicate in the peculiarly technical and oftentimes abstract way that we do. As far as we know. This makes language a very strange and very rare evolutionary result. Why, then, should we assume that communication resembling ours is possible in life "out there" in other solar systems?

Although many species on this planet, as do humans, literally blow air through flapping meat to make noises (This is weird, no matter how you think about it.) only humans use it to build pyramids or visit nearby planets or swear to love our fellow man before stabbing them in the back and stealing their accordions.

By random happenstance our tongues and tracheas evolved in such a way that humans can enunciate a broad range of sounds and ideas, though the trade-off is occasionally choking on our food. While intelligent life (whatever that actually means) may be rare in our galaxy the chances of otherworldly creatures developing human-like language ability complicates the Drake Equation by a significant degree. Perhaps I'm just an unimaginative killer-chimp but I find it hard to understand how an intelligent race of alien beings can advance very far without developing something similar to this bizarre method of communication that simply dropped into our evolutionary laps.

This lack of technical parlance would, of course, favor the very unpopular notion despised by sci-fi fans everywhere that Earth will never-ever-ever be visited by bug-eyed beasts from other worlds with all the secrets of the universe to share with us.

So it goes.

But, who knows? An alien spacecraft may someday land on the White House lawn and the crew will emerge to serenade us with a tone poem of their epic journey to Earth spewed directly from what appears to be their gaping ass-holes, accompanied by accordion.


This is Day, ummm, let's say Thirteen of my October-long vacay from politics. I've yet to receive a full diagnosis from the doc but I've so far learned three things:

1. I'm almost an inch shorter than I was 30 years ago.
2. My blood-pressure is too high. (Gee, wonder why.)
3. And my prostate is soft as a baby's butt.

TMI updates as they happen.


Today's comic originally appeared January 27, 2014.


end rant

News & Notes for October 13th, 2021

Texas Governor Greg "Limp Dick" Abbott wants LGBTQ youths to die.

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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

Image of heavily polluted ocean. Man in bermuda shorts with shell to his ear.
"Yup!" thought Dave to himself, "You can still hear the ocean."
Fuck you!
The progressive editorial cartoon about water pollution.

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