Four-Alarm
Fuhrer
Michelle Obama: "Let
me be as honest and
clear as I possibly
can. Donald Trump
is the wrong president
for our country.
He has had more than
enough time to prove
that he can do the
job, but he is clearly
in over his head.
He cannot meet this
moment ... It is
what it is."
I could hear t-Rump's
empty head go "FOOM!"
all the way here
in Texas.
-------------
If every voter dropped
their mail-in ballot
at the post office
on November 2nd it
would get delivered
in time to be counted.
Because the post
office processes
500 million pieces
of mail daily and
there would be only
135 million mail-in
ballots, at most.
The U.S. Postal Service
would hardly notice
the difference...
unless someone destroyed
all the mail-sorting
machines.
-------------
I hear some people
say that Dumpy Trumpy
was born in Russia.
Dumpy Trumpy was
not born in Russia,
but
he'll
most likely die there
as the country has
no extradition laws
with the U.S.
--------------
If there was an Olympic
event for "World's
Shittiest Human-shaped
Object" the
results would be:
Gold - Trump
Silver - Bill Barr
Bronze - Louis DeJoy,
a rabid weasel (Statistical
tie)
--------------
Captain Ouchie Foot
wants to be president
for life by cheating
and swindling the
electorate.
If Mr. Obama could
have run for president
again he would still
be president today,
by a large margin.
Because you know
that everyone would
have gotten
to vote.
---------------
Back in March I mass-emailed
my family my views
on the oncoming coronavirus
pandemic. It wasn't
a happy missive as
I knew t-Rump would
screw everything
up but I offered
two solutions:
1. Start testing
everyone in the line
of fire and forcibly
isolate those who
test positive.
2. Infect the entire
populace simultaneously,
let the weak die
off, give our hearty
new antibodies a
rousing cheer and
then resume partying
where we left off.
The second suggestion
was meant as gallows
humor but I took
heat for it anyway
because it was such
a cruel idea. How
could anyone think
such a thing?
But, yeah, it's exactly
the policy that Fat
Hitler subsequently
imposed on this country
by turning his back
on science and going
golfing. Current
t-Rumpian dogma is "Get
back to work and
reopen the schools!
Covid-19 isn't dangerous,
you mewling Liberal
worms! Cast off your
silly masks and breathe
deep the fresh air
of Freedom! And for
God's sake, stop
testing! You're making
me look bad."
I have no reassuring
prediction for the
future but
I know we're all
just one Cytokine
storm away from death
until
there's a safe vaccine,
which will take another
six months, minimum.
Even after that we're
not out of the woods
because covid-19
will remain in the
environment for a
very long time until
each and every one
of us is immunized.
But this is Anti-Vaxxer
Land so don't buy
any green bananas.
Fuck Trump.
-------------
I have a ten-year-old outdoor cat. I've had him since
he was a kitten. He's as black as a cat could ever
be and hugely obese but very sweet. He's also suspicious
of
everything.
If
I carry his food out to him with an odd look in my
eye, he's gone. But this suspicious nature, above all
else, has kept him alive all these years.
Suspicious or not, he loves the mailman. I don't always
have the same person deliver the mail each and every
day
but
I've
seen them, one and all,
literally have to step over this little fat bastard
to drop off my bills and he doesn't
blink an eye.
This says a lot about mailmen and I think if my cat
could vote he'd be a Biden guy, too.
=Lefty=
|
