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The progressive web comic about Trump's trouble with the unemployed.

start rant

Nothin' From Nothin' Leaves Nothin'

t-Rump's memoranda about payments to the unemployed was not just a terrible lie, it's sadistic.

First, that money's not coming, because Fat Hitler doesn't have the power of the purse and the states are broke, but a lot of desperate people are going to believe that he does. So t-Rump and the Republicans will hold this promise out like it's a big fat juicy steak that's "ready any minute now" for weeks to come, allowing them to wash their hands of any meaningful legislation. Or any meaningful payments.

In the end, Senate Republicans will likely "ride to the rescue" of the unemployed and issue a lump sum bribe, I mean, payment close enough to the election that it will ensure their Senate seats.

After that, if t-Rump loses the elections America's unemployed will get nothing, not a fucking sausage, until Biden is inaugurated because t-Rump won't care.
And if t-Rump wins the election America's workers will get nothing. Ever.

Die or work, peons. You're on your own. t-Rump's going golfing.


Trump: "Have the Russians hacked the voting machines, like last time?"

Advisor: "Yes, sir, but there's a problem this year. Because of the pandemic the vast majority of Democrats want to vote by mail."

Trump: "What? They can't do that!"

Advisor: "Actually, they can. And there's nothing we can do about it except (laughs) maybe destroy the U.S. Postal Service."

Trump: ".... what was that again?"

Advisor: "I said there's nothing we can do about it."

Trump: "No, I mean the other part."

Advisor: "You mean, destroy the USPS?"

Trump: "Yes. Can we do it?"

Advisor: "Well, yes, but it would be a terrible decision. Americans love the USPS."

Trump: "What if I stick one of my cronies in charge and have him fire all the capable people? And then have him sort of, you know, not deliver the mail. Especially ballots. You know what I mean?"

Advisor: "Are you serious? The people would see right through that."

Trump: "Who cares! Most of those people are worrying about how they're going to pay the light bill. They'll never notice the difference. Who uses the mail anyway? It's a joke. It's for poor people. And I don't want to be a poor people. I want to be president forever so I can make all the money in the world! I WANT THAT MONEY!"

Advisor: ".....Uhhhh, do you have anyone in mind to head the Postal Service?"

Trump: "Hush! Let me think. It would have to be the worst possible person, someone whose companies are in competition with the Post Office. Hey! I know! Louis DeJoy! He's owns lots of stock in shipping companies. He'd probably make a killing if the Post Office folded. In fact, the operation has to fail no later than <counts on fingers> October 15th, so that early ballots won't be delivered."

Advisor: "Sir, if we do this we could go to jail for tampering with the mail."

Trump: "What? But this was your idea, you bloody little genius. Don't back out on me now!"

Advisor: <sigh> "Okay, fine. I'll do it. What shall we call the operation?"

Trump: "Hmm. Well, if all goes according to plan my inauguration will never be forgotten for a thousand years. So let's call this "Springtime for Hitler."


end rant

News & Notes for August 10, 2020

US Postal Service pushes to nearly triple cost of mailing mail-in ballots.

ACLU calls for the dissolution of Homeland Security."

Billionaires get even richer as a result of the coronavirus.

GOP asks Supreme Court to make it even harder to vote during the pandemic.

US reports 50,000 more deaths than there should be.

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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)
If Trump loses the election:
What? Give the unemployed financial aid? That's Biden's job. Merry Christmas, losers.
If Trump wins the election:
No way! Work or die peons. I'm going golfing.

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