Tweet Goes the Weasel

Four inspector generals fired in six weeks.

We tend to picture Senate Republicans as little dogs, laying on their backs and wetting themselves in ecstatic glee every time t-Rump praises them.

No. They're rabid animals who are attacking anything or anyone that threatens them. They are salting the Constitution with their corruption.

Yes, I'm being nice.

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This just in...

Donald Trump no longer considered "morbidly obese".
He's now to be referred to as "Super-Duper Fat".

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t-Rump says he's taking hydroxywhogivesafuck every day. I would only believe him if Walter White personally mixed the batch and God himself offered Trump a glass of Lysol to wash it down with.

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The Donny J. Covid-45 campaign just announced his new "Truth Over Facts Investigative Website".

Soon he'll no doubt launch the "Eat All the Bacon You Want and Still Lose Weight" and the "Who Are You Going to Believe? Me, or Your Two Lying Eyes?" websites.

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(No, we're not all one foot thick, but we're close enough.)

Mount Everest is 29,000 feet tall and it takes two months to climb to the top.

If you stacked all the U.S. coronavirus victims on top of one another the pile would be 90,000 feet tall and would take you six months to climb.

However, once you've reached the summit of that pile it would have likely increased another 100,000 bodies, meaning you'd have to climb to the edge of space to reach the pinnacle.

At this point you have to ask: Who is stacking up all those dead bodies?

Answer: Donald Trump and Jared Kushner.

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The Public Response

2020: "What? The government can't figure out how to provide enough PPEs for medical professionals? Then we'll make them ourselves!"

2003: "What? The government couldn't provide our soldiers in Iraq with enough body armor? Then we'll buy them and ship them there ourselves!"

Guess which political party has these two statements in common. Go on. Guess.

=Lefty=