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The progressive web comic about what an ass Mitch McConnell is for calling himself the Grim Reaper.

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The Crime Reaper

Mitch McConnell: "That danged old 'coon we run out'n the White House didn't leave us no gold-durn instructions on how to fight this Chinese virus, even though there t'weren't never no virus to begin with!"

Media: "WHAT! THE! FUCK?"

Mitch: "Oh, uh, what I meant to say was.... Oops! I'm sorry. I'm just a big old bucket of silly beans. Of COURSE Mr. Obama left us complete instructions. I presumed I was using a frequency that only Fox News listeners could hear. Please return to your dying in droves or whatever it is you little people do."


I just got an extortion letter in the mail.

It basically said "Here's $1200 dollars. If you're quiet and don't mention the 83,000 people I've killed so far there's more where this came from."

It said it was from someone claiming to be the president but the signature looked like someone was being boned in the asterisk by a wart hog as they held a China marker in their covfefe.


Hackers have stolen a prominent law firm's files and are demanding a $42 million dollar ransom or they'll release the data to the public.

42 is an odd number.

Until you know it's the ASCII code for the asterisk.

" *"

Writer Kurt Vonnegut famously redefined the asterisk to mean "asshole".

So, yeah, the hacker's are subtly showing the lawyer their ass.



The U.S. Pandemic Preparedness story:

1998, Bill Clinton: "Ohh, crap! I just read a book that said there's a pandemic a'comin'. Let's get on it!"

2001, George Bush: "Ehhh, what does Clinton know?"

2005, George Bush: "Ohhh, crap! I just read a book that says there's a pandemic a'comin'. Let's get on it!"

2009-2016, Barack Obama: "Ohhh, crap! Worldwide recession! H1N1! Zika! Ebola! Can a brothah get a little help?"

2009-2016, GOP: "Did you hear anything? I didn't hear anything."

2016, Donald Trump: "I just read 'Mein Kampf'. Let's get on it."


They say the coronavirus attacks the old and the obese, so I'm not worried about the average NFL player.... I'm worried about the coaches.

For example, unless he wears a hazmat suit for five months, Cowboys' coach Mike McCarthy is a goner.


end rant

News & Notes for May 15, 2020

"Art of the Deal" ghost-writer says that Covid-19 deaths don't matter to Trump.

House allows remote voting for first time in history.

36 million people are unemployed and Trump continues to try and cut food stamps.

Jared Kushner is a national disaster.

Trump mega-donor snags $27 million baillout payment.... that it doesn't have to pay back.

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Man: Do you like your job?
Death: Yeah, It's okay. Though it really bugs me when people like Mitch McConnell call themselves the "Grim Reaper.
Le Sigh.
It's like watching your grandma perform Chris Rock routines.

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