raging pencils logo
Free progressive comics every Monday, Wednesday & Friday!
covid-19 testing comic
newest Raging Pencils comic
Raging Pencils comic archive trump babysitter covid-19 comic
The Raging Pencils archive Raging Pencils RSS feed Support progressive comics Contact Lefty
The progressive web comic about how Trump is letting people die.

start rant

Story Time

Not so very long ago there once was a country where the people lived in relative peace and happiness, until the tigers appeared and began eating them.

So the People asked their leader: "Oh, Great One! Where are the Soldiers we trained to stop the tigers?"

And the Great One answered: "We did not need them as there are no tigers. I instead sent our Soldiers to go and build a great wall around our land."

And the People said: "But the tigers have easily leapt over that wall. What can we do to protect ourselves?"

And the Great One said: "We need do nothing, as these tigers have no teeth."

And the People wailed: "But many of our people are dying from tiger attack. We can see their sharp teeth as they glint in the sun. And the Shamans who try to save those who have been attacked by tigers are being eaten, too."

And the Shamans said: "We can create a poison that will kill the tigers but it will take many months. Until then the only defense we have is to hide in our caves until they starve or abandon our land."

And the Great One said: "You Shamans will not make me look like a fool. The people can do whatever they like. Whatever happens is not my fault."

And the Leader's Acolytes said: "Those shamans are not to be trusted! If our leader does not believe in tigers then neither shall we. We shall open our doors wide and welcome the sun. And we will open the doors of other caves because we are not afraid of… URK!"

And the People cried: "Oh, Great One! Your acolytes are keeping the tigers alive through their foolishness and our larders are going bare. And we are dying in great numbers as we search for food. And there are those who are stripping the gardens of their leaves in order to keep their behinds clean. And there are also those who sit and sharpen their knives, for they sadly anticipate a time when there is not enough food for all."

And the Scribes said: "Oh, Great One. We have been told by your attendants that you commanded that our best tiger traps be sent to other villages, even as we had tigers in our midst. And that your children profited greatly from the sale. What say you to that?"

And the Great One said: "You are fake Scribes."

And the People said: "None of us are safe until all of us are safe. You must command that all the people barricade themselves indoors until the beasts are gone."

And the Great One said: "No! You must continue to toil in the field. I am the best leader ever and my reign must be unmarred by your sorrow."

And the People said: "How then can we be protected?"

And the Great one said: "Look! I have a magic elixir!"

And the People said: "Does it work?"

And an Acolyte said. "I will drink of it!"

And the Acolyte did. And the Acolyte died.

And the People said: "Booooo! You must leave! We need a leader who is capable and has keen foresight. If you do not abdicate we will force you out."

And the Great Leader said: "How will you do that? If you gather in large groups out in the open the tigers will eat you. Besides, my Sheriff makes the rules and my Guards defend my palace and my Courts make law of my every whim. "

Normally, about now, in a story such as this, you might expect a twist ending but, no. In this completely fictional story the Leader just sat in his palace and tweeted like the birds. And the number of the People attacked by tigers continued to rise, and the number of the People killed and eaten by tigers continued to grow and grow until, at last, the Shamans developed a poison that killed all the tigers.

If it makes you feel better you can pretend that the Leader was eaten by a tiger. Really slowly and painfully. Starting at the feet and working its way up until it reached the heart, whereupon then it looked into the eyes of Leader and then bit down, hard.

How's that work for ya?


The three scariest words I've heard in quite a while came from Dr. Chris Martinson, who has worked extensively with Covid-19. Those three words were:

"Plant a garden."

He foresees severe food shortages in our future, and I, for one, can understand why. It's called "Mad Trump disease".


end rant

News & Notes for April 13, 2020

Dr. Fauci is the most trusted man in Amrica when it comes to the coronavirus. Trump and Jared are last.

Trump sues NBC affiliate for running ad that used his own words.

California, Oregon and Washington announce pact to fight the coronavirus.

Democrat oust Republican Supreme Court judge in Wisconsin.

Majority of Americans say the US government was not prepared for the coronavirus.

Raging Commercialism
Raging Pencils t-shirts
Buy someone you barely tolerate a beautiful, 100% cotton
Raging Pencils t-shirt from the RP Spreadshirt store.

(Comments are moderated for misinformation, not content.)
Widget is loading comments...

Classic Raging Crappola
rabid Trump comic
Old Yeller-Orange.


If you enjoy Raging Pencils, might I also recommend:

the infinite cat project

Need more progressive news? Lefty recommends:
DailykosCrooks and LiarsRandi Rhodes

Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

Trump in front of audience of dead people
"You need to ask yourselves: Are you better off today than you were four years ago?

covid-19 testing  comic Trump the babysitter comic