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Progressive comic about Trump being guilty of Ukraine extortion.

start rant

Noo Roolz

Hey, NBA, how about lowering the net two feet so we can ALL tomahawk dunk. Or raising it two feet to negate freakish height in the game, letting smaller players who can really ball handle and shoot have a chance at an NBA contract.

Hey, MLB, how about reducing the base-on-ball count to three. It'd make quicker games and force the pitcher to find the strike zone. While we're at it, stop having the catcher gives easily-stolen signals because what you're saying is that pitchers are dumbasses who are incapable of researching hitter preferences.

Hey, NFL, how about making ALL the players eligible for a pass at all times? That'd be fun as fuck.

Hey, NHL, have two pucks on the ice at all times. It'd be crazy fun!


Republican Senators are saying they're "blind sided" by all this revelatory information about Trump and Ukraine now coming to light.

What they're actually saying is, like Custer, "Where the Hell did all these Injuns come from?"


Bolton says Barr knew about the Ukraine phone call. Barr says he didn't.

Bolton has notes. Bolton has records. Bolton has corroborating evidence.

Barr should be impeached for covering up t-Rump's crime.

Barr should go to jail.


I heard there is going to be a big protest in Washington outside the Senate building on Wednesday so I thought I'd see what a flight to DC would cost. Google Maps at first thought I was flying from Maryland to Dallas and showed me several options for round-trip flights for around $125.


Flights from Dallas (where I live) to Maryland?

Try between $600 and $1000.

What the effing EFF?!


This here is why we can't have nice revolutions.


Oh, so now the Russiapublicans want to impeach Obama while we're removing His Most Evil Obeseness.

Okay, you can impeach Mr. Obama but only after you've put Hillary in jail and made Mexico pay for your wall and eliminated the deficit and given us all big, beautiful affordable health care and cleaned your room.



Judge* Kavanaugh stood up on his hind legs on Monday and pooted-out that there's bigotry against religion in this country. Specifically the poor, old boy-raping Catholic church.

Talk to me about religious bigotry the next time a group of atheists and agnostics burn a priest at the stake.

(BTW, it's important to note that he's SO VERY specifically concerned about religious bigotry but not racial bigotry. That's because there's no money in pretending to be tolerant of other races.)


The Ken Starr Defense (thus far): You can't impeach a president who hasn't committed an actual crime.

What we've learned from Starr:

• It was a crime when Bill Clinton lied about a consensual affair.

• It was not a crime when Donald Trump engaged in a conspiracy to cover up an attempt to extort a foreign power to help him fix the next presidential election.

What we've learned about Starr:

That you can get a law degree by sending 50 cents and a Cheerios box top to Battle Creek, Michigan.


Michael Jackson's literary legacy: Redefined the word "bad" to mean "formidable".

t-Rump's literary legacy: Redefined the word "perfect" to mean "I'm pissing on your shoes and telling you it's raining."


end rant

News & Notes for January 28, 2020

John Bolton was regularly appalled by Trump's decisions.

If John bolton doesn't testify it's a cover-up, not a trial.

The Trump impeachment "smoking gun" is John Bolton.

Leaked audio reveals Trump didn't know trucks ran on diesel.

House GOP facing fundraising crisis in 2020.

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