Strings
Theory
I
found David Koch's obituary, which ran in today's "Wichita
Sphincter-Examiner":
David Hamilton Koch, who often said that he never met
a fossil fuel he didn't like, died August 22, 2019
of complications of a stake driven into his heart.
He passed peaceably on the deck of his beloved yacht, "The
Kristallknacht", surrounded by galley slaves,
food tasters, his wife, three mistresses, three known
children, dozens of angry relatives who have been cut
out of the will, and the PR Department of the legal
team of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe.
He leaves behind polluted air, poisoned water, a destabilized
Kansas public education system, a vast climate-change-denial
apparatus, the CATO Institute, Americans for Prosperity
and 1,347 other conservative think-tanks and political
front groups that will continue to fight progress for
many decades to come. He takes with him $45 billion
dollars that he otherwise would have owed the government
if he hadn't spent decades and untold millions of dollars
bribing the GOP to gut the estate tax.
The Koch family wishes to thank the Dark Lord for his
service to the family over the many years. In lieu
of flowers the family is requesting that virgins be
donated for the sacrifice to be held in his honor this
Wednesday at Josef Mengele Baptist Church. No fatties.
------------
The
thing that surprised me most about David Koch's death
is, well, David Koch's death. That's because these
malevolent, conservative tycoons seem to grace the
society pages
far, FAR in
excess of their sell date.
Dick Cheney. Wilbur Ross. Rupert Murdoch. They'll all
be finding some new way to screw the poor long after
you or I are in Paradise handing out hymnals to Hitler
and Stalin.
And yet, how many thoughtful and creative humanitarians
have tap-danced off this mortal coil LONG before their
time before even one wizened "captain of industry" croaked?
Pacts with Satan are surely only one of the ways these
evil, conservative monsters seemingly live forever.
(Rush Limbaugh's ears would be burning right now if
he hadn't destroyed his hearing with oxy-contin) Organ-harvesting
and hormone transfusions from bodies of the unwary,
which can be blamed on Mexican rapists, surely take
up any slack in their contracts with Lucifer.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not really celebrating Koch's
death because I realize his passing only means that
one of his progeny will ascend the throne of his empire
and, owing to a life lived in the bubble of profligate
luxury, will toss more pandas and mountain gorillas
into the furnace to stoke the fires of progress. Daddy
would be so proud.
----------
t-Rump says he is "The Chosen One".
Oh, goody!
That means that crucifixion is back on the menu!
And not that namby-pamby hands-outstretched stuff.
I mean hung-upside-down-on-a-log with a large spike
driven straight through the groin, just like they did
it in the old days.
Let's see his cultists wear THAT around their necks.
=Lefty=
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