The
Biggest Loooooooooser
Who was surprised by the New York Times story which
revealed that Fat Hitler is a terrible, TERRIBLE businessman?
And now the New York state lawmakers have just voted
to release his more recent state taxes. It's going
to
be REAL
entertaining learning what tranche of funding is responsible
for the $53-million-dollars-per-year income he
makes on compound interest.
Maybe
he has a joint checking account with
Oleg Deripaska.
------------
I appreciate NPR but it so often fails this Republic
in presenting the news fairly. For example, the following
is an approximate conversation between Congressman
Hakeem Jeffries and NPR host Alisa Chang that was
broadcast today:
Chang: Do the Democrats intend to impeach?
Jeffreis: We need to get the unredacted Mueller Report
before we make a judgement.
Chang: Yes, but is impeachment off the table?
Jeffries: It is neither on the table or off the table.
We need to gather all the information first.
Chang: But will you impeach?
Jeffries:
We cannot impeachment without an indictment and you
can't have an indictment without information.
Chang: But impeachment!
Jeffries: Look, we can't...
Chang: IMPEACHMENT! IMPEACHMENT ! IMPEACHMENT!
It was clear that Ms. Chang REALLY wanted Jeffries
to say the Democrats were going to impeach. This is
not
a
sober
journalist
here. This is someone attempting to deliver talking
points to Fox News.
Fuck you, Ms. Chang.
--------------
It's alarming to think that "Avengers: Endgame" is
a near-perfect allegory for the state of this country
over the past
40 years or so. Ever since the Reagan presidency Conservatives
have been accumulating stones of authoritarianism,
beginning
with the
war on unions, then the War on Drugs, all the way through
the PATRIOT ACT and into paperless/auditless voting.
We're literally at the point where a snap of the Supreme
Court's five conservative fingers could kill half of
government that
keeps us safe from the other half.
(Thanos' "kill half of all living creatures" idea
is, horribly enough, a white supremacists dream because
it's not the white half that would die. Ugh.)
Meanwhile, strong, thoughtful Democrats have been appearing
almost like clockwork. Bill Clinton, Barack Obama,
Elizabeth Warren, Stacey Abrams, Kamala Harris, and
our own "Captain Marvel",
better
known as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Bernie emerged from
stasis to remind us that Captain America still lives
while Nancy Pelosi has a lot of Nick Fury in her. Howard
Dean was an early casualty. I miss him.
Trump isn't Thanos, though, because Fat Hitler, like
all Hitler's, can be defeated. He can be voted away
to dust if, by that time, we're still allowed to vote.
What cannot be destroyed are the accumulators of vast
wealth
whose
Big Picture
viewpoint is what they can own, not what's left over
after they've fucked it all up. No doubt, like Thanos,
after they've "cleansed the world" they see themselves
going back to The Garden (Oh, my gawd. Another Biblical
metaphor.)
to
live out
their
lives in pastoral solitude. Wherever it is, it won't
be among the shattered remnants of the America they
destroyed.
--------------
I finally went to see "Avengers: Endgame" last night.
I expected nothing more that three hours of mindless
pop-culture entertainment and,
for the first fifteen minutes, it delivered. Then
they started talking about quantum time travel and
that's
when I threw my Junior Mints at the screen.
Well,
I wanted to, anyway.
A brief aside: Except for "Primer" any movie that attempts
to seriously use time travel as a plot device is, in
my humble opinion, a load of hot garbage. Disney may
just as easily have ended the movie with "And then
she woke up" and gotten the same result. Time travel
is
nothing
but the
tool
of lazy writers.
Now for a big, fat spoiler regarding this time travel
nonsense.
You know at the end, where Captain America appears
as an old man? That means he was 90 years old and
still grieving for his dead wife when the final battle
with
Thanos occurred. He did not wield Mjolnir and he
did not cast lightning from his fingertips into into
Thanos' nose and out his bung-hole. There is no
other logical way that bullshit, tear-jerking ending
could
have happened.
It was a shameless
attempt to give the audience their
quantum cake and let them eat it, too.
Furthermore, they didn't even TRY to explain the two
Nebula's giving each other the evil eye. My head hurt
just watching
those scenes.
(Technical aside: If you perfect time travel you
don't need spaceships, cars, or even elevators because
it's space-time, too, baby. Fuck time travel stories.)
These are just two egregious examples. I could go on
like this for hours. And it probably seems like I
already have. Anything to not think about that fucking
miserable Russian tool in the White House, I guess.
ARGGGHH!
There's a Youtube channel called "CinemaSins"
which very cleverly lampoons this type of lazy writing.
I can hardly wait to see what they do with "Endgame"
because it offers no little ludicrous gristle to chew
on.
So did I like the movie? No, because I'm an adult.
I'm completely pissed that the creative teams spent
ten
years carefully crafting a 22-movie story arc that
deliciously led up
to a momentous conclusion
and then said "Fuck it! Let's get paid."
God damn you, Disney. God damn you to Hell.
--------
And finally: Congratulations, Denver voters, for decriminalizing
god's little mushrooms. You rock!
=Lefty=
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