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Progressive comic about Trump wasting time watching TV

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Prediction: Schmuckticulous Maximus is going to lie about a lot of things during the SOTU but nothing will change.


I hear that some Congressional Democrats are planning to skip the SOTU this evening.

Too bad.

If I was a Congressman in that audience I'd lustily boo every time Ivanna Grabasnatch uttered a half-truth.


Trump's January To-Do List:

• Steal paychecks from federal workers.
• Order up some "hanberders".
• Alert Taliban to government travel plans.
• Confuse "weather" and "climate".
• Lie about personal church attendance.
• Confuse Tennessee with Louisiana.
• Withdraw from Syria/Don't withdraw from Syria.
• Fold like a Chinese umbrella to Nancy Pelosi.
• Have fingers lengthened and flab reduced with Photoshop.
• Show respect for MLK for, like, 2 minutes.
• Sink like a rock in the polls.
• Slander Afghanistan allies.
• Tell intel officers to go jump in the lake.
• Confuse movies with reality.
• Lie that other presidents support the wall.

Mission Accomplished!


The Giant Mango Baby had two options:

(1) Impose economic sanctions on Russia.

(2) Begin a new nuclear arms race.

Guess which one we got.


There's a possibility Congress can gunk up the works so here's hoping. I mean, I don't know about you but I could do without nuclear brinksmanship with a moron at the controls.


Dubya: "Iraq can't have nukes. We have to invade!"

Republicans: "Yay!"

Trump: "Russia doesn't have enough nukes. I'll let 'em build more."

Republicans: "Yay!"

Me: "What the hairy fuck?"




end rant

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Trump with hand on TV guide
Judge: Do you, Donald J. Trump, swear to protect and defend the Constitution?
Trump: Yeah, sure. Whenever I can work it in around episodes of Fox & Friends or whenever Valdimir Putin will let me.

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