Death
Bed confession
A
brief history lesson:
Turkey is an Islamic country.
In 1915 Turkey began a campaign of genocide whereupon
they killed over a million Armenian Christians. Because
they were Christians.
Now they want to exterminate the Kurds. The Kurds are
also of the Islamic faith but they're not Islamic enough,
according to Erdogan, so they must die.
Turkey just likes killing people. Small wonder t-Rump's
in business with them.
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Fat Hitler: "I swore to protect the Kurds. They're
our allies."
Erdogan: "I'm putting a lien on Trump Tower Istanbul."
Fat Hitler: "Kurds? Did I say Kurds? Who are the
Kurds? Never heard of the Kurds. Who cares about Kurds?
And this isn't Donald Trump. You must be thinking of
someone else. Biden sucks. Fuck the Kurds. Goodbye."
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Dear Nobel Guys;
I've totally solved the problem in the MIDDLE EAST
by letting my friends in "Turkey" kill all
the bad, bad Kurdish guys. Will this get me a NOBEL
Peace Prize or do you take points off for impeachment?
In case you can't reach me at the WHITE HOUSE you can
forward all entry forms to Trump Tower Moscow. And
hurry.
Sincerely,
All-Wise and Supreme Super Great President Donald J.
Trump.
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Yesterday a Moorehead, Minnesota man with a Trump bumper
sticker on his car waved a gun and threatened a woman
with an Elizabeth Warren bumper sticker on her car.
Police arrested the man for terroristic threats.
That's why Fat Hitler wants a rally in Minnesota. He's
evidently scouting for new cabinet members.
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You know why everyone isn't rich in America? Because
then we'd all be breaking the law and hiring fancy-pants
lawyers to slow the courts to a crawl and no one would
obey the law and it'd be ANARCHY!
And that's why poor people go to jail for 30 years
for stealing bread. It's the only way to keep the courts
moving. Poverty equals freedom, people.
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t-Rump: "Mayor Frey, I'd like to have a rally
in your fine city of Minneapolis."
Frey: "Excellent. Just send a check for $500,000
to handle rental fees and security costs."
t-Rump: "What? We've never had to pay before an
event."
Frey: "And you haven't paid after the events,
either. You still owe El Paso $550,000."
t-Rump: "I'll sue you!"
Frey: "Yawn. Welcome to Minneapolis, where we
pay our bills." (Actual quote)
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I always draw the GOP as elephants but I never draw
Democrats as donkeys. Know why?
Because Democrats aren't animals.
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South Park's latest episode: U.S. media self-censors
its product to meet the authoritative censorship rules
of mainland China.
Result: China bans South Park from its internet.
Lesson: China was just fine with stories of Americans
at their worst but keep their organ-harvesting name
out of it.
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Wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Three guys drive all the way from Alexandria, Louisiana
to buy drugs from Joshua Brown (witness in the Amber
Guyger murder) and then got into a gunfight with him?
And now Brown turns out to be a drug dealer?
Yeah, I guess there's a terrible shortage of weed in
Louisiana.
Right after Brown was shot one of the first comments
I read was "You watch. The police will find drugs."
Of course they did.
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"Let's drive 300 miles across state lines into
weed-friendly Texas and buy us some drugs. The cops
there would never stop three nervous-looking black
guys in a car with Louisiana plates."
Yeah, that's exaaaaaactly how it went down.
=Lefty=
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