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Vote This Up

Do you remember how relatively uncontroversial voting for president was... until George W. Bush came along?

Yes, there have always been rumors of local shenanigans, like the occasional rash of dead people rising from their graves to ensure the outcome for some some local yokel, but nowadays there are endless stories of people seeing their votes flip at the ballot box from one candidate to another.
ALIKAZAM! Plus, ever since 2004, exit polls have become become somewhat unreliable, almost as if the people's votes weren't being processed correctly. How about that? (I should add that in some locales exit polls are verboten... and I chose that last word carefully.)

After the butterfly ballot debacle in 2000 it suddenly became VITAL to fix the problem for which Jeb Bush, brother of The Decider, was largely responsible. But just such a phenomenal fuck-up didn't mean we all had to hitch our horses to e-voting as rapidly and as higgledy-piggledy as we did. Even I, a regular person, knew there's no effective way to keep computer code safe from hackers even if the coder himself was a freaking genius. It's the political functionaries who inevitably get their hands on the source code that would inevitably spell the end of our precious Republic.

We need paper ballots back. We need physical, unalterable records of what transpired on election day, should there ever be a need for investigation. And, like other civilized countries, we're all allowed to vote once we're of age. It would also be great if the day we elect our presidents be considered a national holiday, like the first Monday in November.

We can do this. It's important.


end rant

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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

What's this?
It's our new electronic service.
Will I get a receipt?
How's the security?
Will it record my transaction accurately?
We guarantee nothing.
Can I speak to someone?
It won't help.
This is a terrible bank.
Oh, the bank's next door. This is a voting station.

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