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Hearts and Hands

child's handYou know all those little kids crossing the southern borders of the U.S., escaping the resultant cluster-fuck chaos of Ronald Reagan's murderous escapades in Central America? Well, they're not illegal immigrants, pals and gals, they're refugees, and I think a civilized society could easily make that distinction. But, no, we have these roving bands of Nobel laureates clogging the roads and blocking buses full of ninos with purposely misspelled signs (No one's really that stupid, right?) raising a calculated stink over a solvable problem just so that Fox & Friends will have something to rabble rouse besides laughable innuendo about that damn Kenyan in the White House, whom they secretly LOVE as he sells more ad time than any dead or naked British royalty ever has.

(What we really need is demonstrators blocking the paths of the limos of Wall Street CEOs, the real criminals in this country, but, oh yeah, the last time this was tried they had their police force beat the snot out of the protestors. Not quite so much pepper spray down on the border, I've noticed.)

My favorite complaint is that our government is spending millions on these kids yet scrimping on vets, which is like complaining that your hamburger is too salty because Selma Hayek won't return your phone calls.

Seriously, if you want more money for the VA just call Speaker of the House John Boehner and ask him to introduce a bill that will properly fund the agency. I'm sure he'll get right on it.


Man, I kill me! Oh, and fuck John Boehner.

Yes, it costs money to keep these kids fed and housed while we figure out what to do for them but even if we budgeted, say, $300 million dollars a year to care for them, and we don't, nothing even close to that amount, that's still less than $1 from each American. Per year.

This problem will not be solved immediately, if ever, because it requires the help of the countries involved but I'm sure U.S. agencies are doing the best they can. Most importantly, anyone who thinks it's acceptable to bully hungry, scared children shouldn't be allowed the benefits of civilized society. So fuck those guys, too.

One last reminder: Unless your home address has been 1 Olduvai Gorge for the past million years you're an immigrant, too. Deal with it.


end rant

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What do you call the first man to step foot on a new land?
Conqueror, explorer, pioneer, pilgrim, pathfinder, voyager, opportunist, adventurer, entrepreneur, fortune-hunter, swashbuckler, trailblazer.
What do you call the second?
Castaway: Land!
Immigrant: Beat it!
Owner: Ask him if he'll pick grapes.

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