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Just Kidding!

jar of eyeballsIn Matthew 5:29 Jesus specifically states that if you get a feverish case of the hanky-pankies after a happenin' babe occludes your radar then you'd best wander down to Sporks R Us and grab something fashionable with which to yank out an eyeball lest ye be doomed to eternal torment in the fires of Hell, or New Jersey.

Seems rather harsh, don't it?

Biblical scholars pass this off as an example of harmless hyperbole, just Jesus trying to drive home a point that really, ha-ha, shouldn't be taken literally.

Bullshit! It's Jesus, okay? Not Fred the plumber. If the J-man says that rich guys won't make it to Heaven, I'm with him. And if he says watching the girls go by is punishable by ocular extraction, then so be it.

But that's only if you believe in Jesus, and I'm in the cynical corner so if you need me I'll be over in /r/femalemimesgonewild watching the ladies showin' it off inside invisible boxes, with both eyes.


Incidentally, Jesus didn't mention the consequences of female lust because it wasn't invented until 1787 by the Montgolfier brothers, so quit hatin' on the Bible. That's MY job.


Hey! Here's a tasty chart to chew on, one indicating the not-so-surprising rise of anti-government groups only when the Democrats are in the White House. Click on the image for a much larger version.

anti-government patriot groups


end rant

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