Just
Kidding!
 In
Matthew 5:29 Jesus specifically
states that if
you get a feverish case of the
hanky-pankies
after
a happenin' babe occludes your
radar then you'd best wander down
to Sporks R Us and grab something
fashionable with which to yank
out an eyeball lest ye
be doomed
to eternal torment in the fires
of Hell, or New Jersey.
Seems rather harsh, don't it?
Biblical scholars pass this off
as an example of harmless hyperbole,
just Jesus trying to drive
home a point that really, ha-ha,
shouldn't be taken literally.
Bullshit! It's Jesus, okay? Not
Fred the plumber. If the J-man
says that rich guys won't make
it to Heaven, I'm with him. And
if he says watching the girls go
by is punishable by ocular extraction,
then so be it.
But that's only if you believe
in Jesus, and I'm in the cynical
corner so if you need me I'll
be over in
/r/femalemimesgonewild watching
the ladies showin' it off inside
invisible boxes, with both
eyes.
BOTH
EYES, MUTHAHFUCKAH!
Incidentally, Jesus didn't
mention the consequences of female
lust because it wasn't invented
until 1787 by the Montgolfier brothers, so
quit hatin' on the Bible. That's
MY job.
-----------------
Hey!
Here's
a tasty chart
to chew on, one indicating the
not-so-surprising rise of anti-government
groups
only when the Democrats are in
the White House. Click on
the image for a much larger version.
=Lefty=
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