Unleash The Dogs of Peace

"Pardon me, sir, but can you spare a moment?"

"Oh, certainly, Miss. I always have time for a lovely wagging tail like yours. Mind if I sniff your butt?"

"In a moment, perhaps. If you don't mind, what do you know about human fighting?"

"Only that humans fight all the time. It's in their nature to quarrel."

"Actually, sir, I'm referring to a different kind of fighting, the kind where strong, unusually aggressive humans are trained to be vicious killers who are then thrown into arenas against other trained humans and forced to fight to the bloody death."

"Oh, my dog! That's barbaric. Why would humans do that?"

"It's gambling, sir, with each side wagering on the other's natural resources. As a result, thousands of humans die needlessly every year, and oftentimes the owners will let their humans die even though medical care is promised to them. It's a terrible waste as these are humans that could feed us, love us, take us for walks or for rides in their cars."

"Oh, yes! We could definitely use more rides in cars, but what can I do? I'm just one dog."

"To be honest, sir, there's not a lot we can do except to love our humans. With enough unvarnished affection we think we can eventually diminish their violent natures to a reasonable level. So we ask that every dog be a good dog. Stay off the furniture, greet your human enthusiastically after a long day at work, and only bark when it's absolutely necessary. It's all in this pamphlet."

"Thank you. I will endeavor to do my best. Now... about that butt-sniffing?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

=Lefty=