Doll Troll

Assault rifle owners of America, I'm going to save you a ton of money with this one little piece of advice:

Trade your guns for Barbie dolls.

Seriously.

If you feel the need to own an object upon which you can project your feelings of inadequacy, buy a Barbie doll.

If you're compelled to compulsively purchase something that needs a lot of fancy, expensive accessories, then buy a Barbie doll.

If you're driven to "collect the whole set" and store them in your bunker, then get a Barbie doll. And her friends.

If you want to get together with your buddies and play with your toys, then get a Barbie doll.

If you're tired of hiding your dangerous items from the kids, and grand kids, then get a Barbie doll.

If you want to piss off the feminists, buy a Barbie doll for your daughter. Preferably the cheerleader or pole-dancer varieties.

If you ladies want something in your purse that makes you feel more secure, then get a Barbie doll. Just like the one you had as a kid.

If you want to carry around something on your hip that makes people nervous, get a Barbie doll.

If you men want to hold something in your hands that won't be compared to your tiny penis, then get a Barbie doll.

But if your ultimate desire is to kill people, preferably yourself, then buy an assault rifle.

=Lefty=