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Rhino's revenge.
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Horns of a Dilemma.

rhinos are cool.Believe it or not, one of the reasons that the Western black rhino recently went extinct is because the Vietnamese can't hold their liquor. It seems that in Southeast Asia rhino horn is considered to be a dandy cure for hangovers, so you can easily understand why the slaughter of an entire subspecies was necessary.

But that's just the beginning. The people in that part of the world also use rhino horn for arthritis, cancer, and erectile dysfunction.

Does it work? Let me put it this way....

Look at your fingernails. They're made of a material called keratin which is, essentially, hard skin. It's fairly inert but it's the very same stuff of which a rhino's horn consists. So unless nibbling on your fingernails has been proven to cure cancer, which it hasn't, rhino horn won't either. Same goes for arthrits and hangovers and uncooperative trouser monsters.

The chaps in the Middle East are also savage, ignorant cunts, too. (That's the teddibly refined English "cunt", not the common American "cunt".) They're rapidly consigning rhinos to extinction so they can make really cool ornamental sword handles with the horns. Whee!

This is one of the few times Americans have clean hands when it comes to biological disasters, though I'm pretty sure Monsanto would make an exception if rhinos ever started pollinating the strawberries.

If you'd like to help save these benighted beasties here are a few good places to start:

Save the Rhino
Save the Rhino Trust
African Wildlife Foundation
World Wildlife Fund


end rant


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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

Rhino kid: Sir, are you absolutely certain this will make our horns grow?
Rhino pimp: Do I look like I'd lie to you, kid?
Rhino kid2: Hey, cool! Mine's circumcised!

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