Horns
of a Dilemma.
 Believe
it or not, one of the reasons that the Western black
rhino recently
went extinct is because the Vietnamese
can't hold their liquor. It seems that in Southeast Asia
rhino horn is considered to be a dandy cure for hangovers,
so you can easily understand why the slaughter of an
entire
subspecies was necessary.
But that's just the beginning. The people in that part
of the world also use rhino horn for arthritis, cancer,
and erectile dysfunction.
Does it work? Let me put it this way....
Look at your fingernails. They're made
of a material called keratin which is, essentially, hard
skin. It's fairly inert but it's the very same stuff
of
which
a rhino's
horn consists. So unless nibbling on your fingernails
has been proven to cure cancer, which it hasn't, rhino
horn won't either. Same goes for arthrits and hangovers
and uncooperative trouser monsters.
The chaps in the Middle East are also savage, ignorant
cunts, too. (That's the teddibly refined English "cunt",
not the common American
"cunt".) They're rapidly consigning rhinos
to extinction so they
can make
really
cool ornamental sword handles with the horns. Whee!
This is one of the few times Americans have clean hands
when it comes to biological disasters, though I'm pretty
sure Monsanto would make an exception if rhinos ever
started pollinating the strawberries.
If you'd like to help save these benighted beasties
here are a few good places to start:
Save the Rhino
Save the Rhino Trust
African Wildlife Foundation
World Wildlife Fund
=Lefty=
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