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Road Rage

apples n orangesIf we federally regulated cars the way we regulate guns it would be like Russian Roulette on Wheels on our nation's roads. No air bags or seat belts, no speed limits or yearly inspections. No backup lights or gas mileage requirements. No emissions controls. No crosswalks, streetlights, stop signs, and the roads would be full of potholes.

And just imagine the road rage.

So it's a good thing we didn't write the Bill of Rights in, say, 1957 where the ownership of at least two cars was every man's inalienable right. That would have been the 1st Amendment. Easily.

Try and pass a law about the way I drive MY car, pal? Fat chance.

It's clear we need regulations to make guns safer for the general populace, though let's require insurance for each gun, just for starters.

As for making them less lethal, here's a few ideas.

First, require guns to have the same sort of keyed lock mechanism that are used in cars. That way only you, or someone else with a copy of the key, could use it.

Second, when the gun is unlocked it should begin making a very distinctive beep about every two seconds. This will tell anyone within earshot that a loaded gun is armed and ready to fire, which will also keep someone from sneaking up on you, with malice in his or her heart. This sound will also alert parents to the fact that little Billy has found the keys while they were busy watching Duck Dynasty.

As for bank robberies, it would be fun wathching a crook with nothing but a finger in his coat pocket going "Beep-beep-beep" while the clerk just stares at him.

This warning beep will, of course, require a battery in every gun, which could be solar powered, and should it ever run down the gun will not fire. (Hey! Quit whining! If you can keep your iPhone charged, you can keep your gun charged.

Also, let's find a way to set guns on "stun" in nonlethal situations. For example, when a stray pitbull is lunging at you the momentum of the bullets could be choked somehow to deliver a solid whack rather than a penetrating kill.

Note: In "stun mode" the frequency of the beep could be slowed to about half-normal speed, indicating the nonlethal mode. Nonlethal mode should also be the default mode. See: Little Billy, above.

Finally, all guns should show a readout of how many bullets are still in its chamber so we can once and for all disallow the total bullshit "I didn't know it was loaded" excuse.

Ridiculous? Maybe, but no worse than letting just anyone own a gun, like it is now.


Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi.

Doesn't the GOP have anything better to do than try and derail Hillary Clinton's ride to the White House in 2016 by bitching about something that happened THIRTEEN TIMES during the Bush years? You probably don't know about this because Fox News didn't bellow nary an impeachable word about these other attacks, especially 24/7 like they're doing now.


end rant


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Comparative Safety Features

Car: Designed to transport people from point A to point B.
safety bumpers, body designed to crumple safely on impact, anti-lock brakes, shatterproof glass, license, inspection, rearview mirrors, radar detection, headlights, brake-lights, side lights, defroster, airbags, padded dash, run-flat tires, keys, locks

Toaster: Designed to make toast.
Stay-cool top and sides, anti-tip-over sensor, bread lift, cut-off switch, auto shut-off timer.

Gun: Designed to kill people.

Overturn Citizens United