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The Pedophile's Defense
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En Pissant

jesus footballPicking a new Pope is like the Superbowl for Catholics. They get a new champion but the rules don't really change and kids keep sacrificing their bodies for the benefit of the people who own them. This new guy may have named himself, in a gaudy feat of self-aggrandizement, "Francis" but he's still just another line-toeing, Papist thug.

Enjoy him while you can, mackeral-snappers, because he won't be champ long.


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Cardinal: Perhaps next game, your Holiness, your bishops won't be quite so obsessed with the pawns. Checkmate.
Pope: Screw you. I quit.
Caption: And so, in a bold counterattack, the Pontiff unleashes his devastating Pedophile's Defense.

Overturn Citizens United