Kickin' It Old School

The Sequester seemed like a pretty swell idea when it was created as it put the death industry in a bit of a bind. Either Republicans would have to come up with a way to reduce the deficit or their lords and masters in the weapons biz would lose a steep chunk of funding. But I guess the war mongers will simply make up in taxes what they lose on tanks.

Regardless of what front-running phonies like John Boehner say the Democrats have a pretty good plan to balance the sequester cuts. The GOP, not so much. Right now it appears they'd rather the economy take a tumble so they can blame the ensuing unemployment spike on the Democrats in 2016.

Yes, poor people suffering, rich people continuing to rake it in, and ultimately blaming their own malfeasance on the Democrats. That's win-win-win in Conservative Land.

The odd thing about the upcoming sequestration is that it doesn't have to happen at all. Congress could simply agree to keep spending at current levels and no one would really notice except, that is, the bankers getting fat on the usurious interest Americans pay on the debt.

Since the Republican Party is garnering the lion's share of the blame for this mess, and they're damn sure not going to vote to raise taxes on the rich, kicking this sequestration can on down the road is very likely to happen at the last minute. Wait and see.

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Just thought I'd share this:

Beloved Girlfriend and I were enjoying some fabulous deep-dish pizza at one of our fave restaurants this past Saturday night, during which we discussed such controversial events as the weather, our cats, our wonderful clients, etc.

Seated at the next table were three young men, all in their early twenties. They were sharing pizza and knocking back a few brewskis. After they finished their meal they got up to leave, but one of them suddenly stopped and stood over our table. He had an all-too-familiar gleam in his eye.

"Have you met Jesus?" he asked.

It was obvious that the lad had been eavesdropping on our conversation and decided we weren't quite devout enough. I guess not sacrificing a goat as thanks for our Caprese salad irked him.

"Yeah, I know Jesus" I told him. "He mows my lawn. Nice guy, too."

After we made it clear to him that our hearts belonged to Zeus he faded into the night but not without sharing a few quick references to the fires of Hell as the door closed behind him.

BG and I had a good laugh about the situation though we were peeved we'd forgotten, in the awkwardness of the moment, about our divine savior, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. BG is, in fact, a registered priest in the Church of Pastafarianism. She paid ten bucks for the license from a web site so you know it's legit.

Imagine our surprise when, ten minutes later, our little pious pugilist returned and walked up to our table.

"Did you steal my wallet?" he asked abruptly.

No "Hi! Nice to see you again." or "Beware this hive of scum and villainy." Just "Did you steal my wallet?"

I wanted to tell him that, yes, our usual modus operandi on date night was to pick the pockets of religious morons, though I didn't say that out loud just in case he happened to be packing heat. This is Texas. It happens.

A quick search of the surrounding area revealed that he'd simply dropped his wallet under his table. Instead of apologizing to us for being a suspicious lout he instead took the opportunity to hit on the waitress. Classy move. He didn't get her number. Smart girl.

So thanks, anonymous religious imbecile, for making our weekend a memorable one. And if we see you at the restaurant again be prepared to talk some serious pasta.

=Lefty=