Killed
To Dress
Bzzzzzzz!
"Miss Wilkins? Could you ask the Hendersons to come into
my office, please?"
"Right away, Sir!"
"Ah! Frank! Janice! Nice to see you. Those horns
look better every time I see them. I'm glad they're in
the
center
of your forehead instead of on your behinds."
"Our... behinds, Sir?"
"Yeah, engineering had a bug up its butt about aerodynamics
and thought the head-mounted horn would impede your laminar
airflow
but I
told them to stick it where the sun don't shine. And I
know about
sunless
environments,
believe you me."
"Ain't that the truth, Sir! So, uh, what would you like
to see us about?"
"Well, to get right down to brass tacks the two kids,
Adam and Eve, you know them, they live down by The Tree,
are having a sort of going-away party tomorrow and I need
both
of
your
skins
in order to
make some clothing for them as a parting gift."
"Huh? You mean, you want to put our skin over their skin?
Don't they already have skin? Last time I checked they
met all
the skin requirements that I'm aware of. Besides, don't
we sort of, you know, need our skin to keep out guts from
flopping around and all?"
"Yes, I know this seems all strange and new but, trust
me, it's for the best. So if you'll just go down to Human
Resources and sign a few forms we'll get this old ball
rolling."
"So that's how it is, huh?
We've been with this company since the very beginning and
now you're just gonna throw us to the wolves without a
by your leave? Well, you're gonna have to do better than
that, pal! I know my rights! What about my benefits? What
happens
to my pension? Answer me that, big man!"
"Security!"
"That's right! Sic your goons on me! Well, you'll be hearing
from my lawyer! I will take this world and everything on
it
before
I'm
done! You just wait!"
"Okay, pal. Calm down. Calm down. Just follow me downstairs to
the nice offices and we'll sign some nice papers and everything
will be nice again. Okay?"
"Fine. C'mon, Janice. Let's get out of this two-bit paradise
before someone sucks our eyeballs out, too."
Slam!
Bzzzzzzzzzz.
"Wilkins! Are they gone?"
"Yes, sir. I'll let you know when they arrive at processing."
"Fine. Anything else on the agenda for today?"
"Yes, sir. R&D needs your okay on these plumbing
designs for the emergency flooding system, and marketing
has a
new rainbow prototype they're anxious for you to approve."
"Excellent. Just let me hit the old can and I'll be with
them shortly."
"Excellent, Sir, but, before you go, I've been handed
a memo. It appears that the unicorns have eaten of the
fruit of the Tree
of Knowledge, are aware of their nakedness, and are now
demanding skins of their own. What should I tell them?"
"Tell them 'Touche', Miss Wilkins. Touche', indeed."
=Lefty=
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