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Lucky Charms

monkey's pawDid you know that you can buy a bullet with your name on it? The idea is that there's only one bullet that has your name on it, one and only one which will eventually spell your doom, so it may as well be tucked away safely in your very own sock-drawer.

(It's at this point that this dumb idea devolves into any number of monkey's paw scenarios but, for now, lets all pretend that it works as described.)

If you think about it, such an item would make an ideal baby gift.

"Congratulations on your new baby boy!" the card would read. "In order to ensure his safety from stray gunfire I've taken the liberty of putting his name on this bullet. Tape it to the refrigerator or have one of your hoodlum friends bury it in a shallow grave in the woods. Your child is now pre-disastered and may walk down any street at midnight with complete impunity for the rest of his life."

If I ever win the lottery I think I'll take it upon myself to send such an item to every new parent I can locate. At the very least it might make them realize there's a way to protect their child's life, and the answer is as close as their nearest voting booth.


end rant

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Oh, That Mitt.

big fat liarMitt Romney made a number of gaffes on his European swing but like any good vulture capitalist he knows where the buck stops.... with the media.

How dare they print the words that came out of his mouth and ignore that mean old socialist back home driving honest businessmen to their knees with his outrageous tax plan?

My, Grandma, what thin skin you have.


Senate majority leader Harry Reid reported yesterday that an investor at Bain Capital told him that Mitt Romney hasn't paid taxes in ten years.

Go onnnnnnnn.


Rick Gorka, Mitt's traveling press secretary, loses his cool and tells reporters to "Kiss my ass!"


Just a reminder: When Romney lost the Massachusetts governorship he took all of the data with him. When he left his post as the Olympics head he destroyed all of his records. He's not sure when he worked for Bain Capital and he's not releasing his taxes.

Nothing like transparency, eh?


On the last stop of Mitt's Foreign Charm Offensive (heavy on the offensive) he was met by crowds in Poland chanting "O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma!"

An exclusive Raging Pencils bumper-sticker!
do gop in my white house bumper sticker
Get yours now at zazzle.com


President Obama's Top 50 Accomplishments

Number 47: Expanded Stem-Cell Research

barack obamaIn 2009, eliminated the Bush-era restrictions on embryonic stem cell research, which shows promise in treating spinal injuries, among many other areas.

For the full list of his 50 finest achievements read the Washington Monthly story.


And now our Chart of the Day: How Fox News distorts a 4% tax rate difference.

bush tax cuts

Larger version of the chart here.

Republican Job Creation Update

republican job creation8-1-2012: The House was in recess Monday the 30th. On the 31st they took votes on three bills. One was to reduce executive positions subject to Senate approval and one was to make tax delinquents ineligible for federal jobs. These were essentially job-reducing bills, so of course they both passed. The third was an anti-abortion bill. It failed. Negative jobs were created.

For the full 2001-2012 list of Republican sloth please visit republicanjobcreation.com.


Fox News Lies. Dump Fox News

Fox News Lies! F
ox News is hiding half the story on automatic spending cuts.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.


If you enjoy Raging Pencils, might I also recommend:
born again pagan
the infinite cat project

Can't make sense of the news? Try our selection of progressive nosh:
DailykosCrooks and LiarsThink ProgressTalking Points Memo

Today's Google Chow.

Melvin the Bullet Boy: Hi Mary Lou! Say! Are you free to go to the prom this Saturday?
Mary Lou the Bullet Girl: Sorry, Melvin, but I'm planning on being lodged in someone's brain that night.

Caption: Melvin knew he wasn't in the same class as girls who had someone's name written on them but, dammit, he had to try..

Overturn Citizens United