Of
Thanksgiving Past
 And by that I mean yesterday's
Thanksgiving.
As
I was sitting around the dinner table waiting for
everyone to quit talking about their damn kids so I could interject
something pithy about the electoral college it occurred to me
that switching virtually every oven in America on "High" for
four or more hours in
an attempt to render the meat of a deviantly mutated bird relatively
harmless would inevitably require vast amounts of heat in order
to do the job properly. This heat, along with a hefty dollop
of CO2 and carbon created as a result, would drift into the atmosphere
and eventually contribute to climate change.
Ain't that a bitch?
I guess the saving
grace for this mini-conflagration is that each cook didn't toss
their turkeys over the intake manifolds of their SUVs and race
pointlessly
around for several days until the poor creature reached the peak
of gustatory perfection.
I also had one other, slightly less cheeky, inspiration about
Thanksgiving leftovers...
trade them with the neighbors. Seriously. Offer some stuffing
for stuffing, vegetables for vegetables, pie for pie. It would
be fun and you'd get a taste of what your neighbors call home
cooking without actually having to sit at their table, waiting
for your chance to bitch about the electoral college.
-----------
Thanksgiving etiquette. A little late,
perhaps, but this will certainly come in handy around
Festivus.
----------------
Uncle Lefty's Saturnalian Shopping Tips
It's Black Friday and here you are,
all safe and sound and snug as a bug in George Clooney's
ear. Time to stretch those fingers and begin your online
shopping, and here's a little something to get you
started.
 Presto
Pizzazz Pizza Oven
I was all prepared to ridicule what
was obviously just another piece of useless kitchen
counter clutter but then
I read the reviews and HOLY FUCKBALLS, MAN! people
like this stupid thing! I mean really REALLY like
it. It actually, you know, works which is weird for
a novelty consumer item. If I was living in a dorm
room or
a van
down
by the
river I'd certainly consider shoplifting one of these.
=Lefty=
Republican Job Creation Update
 For
those interested in such things (That's YOU!), I've updated
the (non)Job Creation website to prepare it for the coming
four years
of conservative
indolence. For
the full list of Republican sloth please visit republicanjobcreation.com.
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