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As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
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Cave 76

cave 76Since states can't, for all practical purposes, secede from the Union and the federal government already wields vast authority over our daily lives, as the war on drugs and terrorism issues have clearly proven, I'm wondering why we even need states and, therefore, the electoral college? Why not simply define our country by congressional districts and choose our presidents accordingly?

State lines are, apart from major rivers or stands of coastline, purely aritificial anyway. At least with congressional districting we're grouping citizens by population. Ideally, that is.

While I'm being silly, why don't adjoining states ever merge their borders and become one super state? Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia could merge to form one giant Gulf Redneckopolis. Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona could meld and become the Big Square State. Texas would never join with anyone because, you know, assholes.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!


The world's most infamous turkey drop.


Uncle Lefty's Saturnalian Shopping Tips

I just checked the calendar and it's now approximately 34 days until Xmas Eve, when REAL manly shopping begins, usually at the local 7-11. But not everyone will be delighted with a carton of smokes and a fistfull of scratch-offs so consider defying tradition and purchase a box o' goodies that will make you a legend. Perhaps even take out an eye. For instance.

ninja grappling hookNinja Grappling Hook

Shut up and take my money! Shut up and take my money! Shut up and take my money! Shut up and take my money! Shut up and take my money! Shut up and take my money! Shut up and take my money! Shut up and take my money! Shut up and take my money!


end rant

Republican Job Creation Update

republican job creationFor those interested in such things (That's YOU!), I've updated the (non)Job Creation website to prepare it for the coming four years of conservative indolence. For the full list of Republican sloth please visit republicanjobcreation.com.

(To spare you right-wing nincompoopery all comments are moderated.)
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Today's Google Chow.

Airline clerk: I'm sorry, but we don't allow livestock on our planes.

Gladys Turkey: Great! Now we'll miss the wedding.

Frank Turkey: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

Overturn Citizens United