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The class of 2111

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Your Little Ray of Sunshine

sick earthMankind has a habit of trying to guess the future and often coming up amusingly wrong. In the 1900s futurists foretold of a populace gliding gracefully about in man-powered zeppelins. The Bibble promises Hell on Earth. It's pretty silly stuff.

I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but it's clear that the future holds certain changes for our country and our planet. For one thing, we're using raw materials at a ridiculous pace and we're soon going to be completely out of elements like indium, hafnium gallium, zinc... and copper. Gallium is more important than you think as it's the reason you can read this message. Yes, gallium makes flat-screen monitors and TVs possible. Our consumer-based economy is a trap and Best Buy is the cheese.

The American Hispanic population will be in the majority by 2050. They may not all rely on Spanish as their primary language but it will be increasingly important to all other Americans as time goes by.

American history books are already undergoing censorship and outright propagandizing to mask, even applaud, the embarrassing mistakes of oligarchs. As George Orwell said "He who controls the past controls the future."

The speed of extinction around the globe will inevitably increase as the climate changes and mankind begins waging war over the last potable water resources. Meanwhile, as the polar ice caps melt, low-lying geographic locales will be inundated forever.

We could change this future for the better, maintain what equilibrium the environment yet possesses, but it would require changing the basic nature of humankind. Unfortunately, as a race we're too selfish and too willing to waste a limited resource if it means an opportunity to gain a little more power and status over the next guy. We're fucked and the self-fucking will only continue to get worse.

In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt to learn a little Spanish.


mooseheadSpeaking of bright shiny objects...

If you've ever been to an auction you know that if you bid $20 for a $20 item, and no one outbids you, then you get to take it home for $20. If you bid a billion dollars just to make sure no one else bids on it then it's yours for a billion dollars

That's an auction. That's how it works.

On eBay, you can bid a billion dollars on a $20 item and it's yours for whatever the previous high bid was plus fifty cents. That's why eBay sucks.

The last second sniping by the "billon-dollar-bidders" is insulting and alienating to users of the site. You hear me eBay? Effective immediately they should make high bidders pay the entire amount of their bid. I'm not the first person to mention this and I hope I'm not the last.


sucker baitA movie called "Sucker Punch" arrived in theatres this weekend and it made a lot of money, which is a shame because it exploits rape and child abuse, all in a neat little PG-13 wrapper. You need to read this review of the film before you even contemplate wasting a dime on it.



john boehnerFebruary 10, 2011: "We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner.

So far the list of Republican accomplishments for 2011 is:

(1) Attempted curtailing of abortion rights.
(2) Attempted defunding of Planned Parenthood.
(3) Attempted defunding of NPR.
(4) Investigating Muslims.
(5) Declaring English as America's Official Language.
(6) Reaffirming "In God We Trust".

Nope. No jobs here.

Still waiting, John.


Fox News Lies!And what lies is Fox News spewing lately? That Secretary of State Hilary Clinton is avoiding Fox News Sunday even though they "routinely have the highest ratings" among Sunday talk shows. In fact, they're dead last.

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The Class of 2111

Teacher: Class, your assignment is to memorize the relevant remains of the periodic table. Don't strain yourself. (ten elements: oxygen, silicon, aluminum, iron, calcium, sodium, magnesium, potassium, titanium, hydrogen.
Vertebrate biology
Student: Professor, humans and roaches are the only species left on this planet. Why do you still have this job?
Teacher: Tenure.
Spanish on blackboard, diagrammed.
Professor: And so, with a cannon in each hand, Richard Koch single-handedly defeated the Taliban and saved the health care industry.
Professor: Okay, who's ready for differential equations?
Geography: Can anyone point to the Appalachian Archipelago in the Gulf of Nebraska?