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...the Arabs Were Eating Their Dates.

death spiralAccording to at least one study on the subject the most common birthday in America is October 5th. That's because 266 days previous, the average gestation time for couchus potatus americanus, is December 31st. "Happy New Year" indeed. That isn't always the cork you hear popping.

August and September are big birthday months in general as couples tend to go inside and "warm up" when the weather turns frosty. No surprise there but something we rarely consider.

Speaking of which, my birthday is on November 6th and my older brother's birthday is on the 12th, which means Valentine's Day lovin' is conducive to male progeny, at least in my family.

I have a nephew who was born on September 11th. If that was my birthday I'd insist on twin, towering cakes soaked in rum with little airplanes crashing into them. At the proper moment we'd set it alight and then try to blow it out before it crumbled. It'd be just like real thing except minus the thermite.

According to the aforementioned study the least common birthdate, excluding February 29th, is May 22nd. I know someone born on the 27th. I always suspected she was special and now I know why.

As kids we all feel sorry for the friend who was born on Christmas Day, a 1-in-365 chance, because they get screwed in the "Look what I got!" derby. Rednecks must consider a child born on the 25th a blessing as it saves them a few bucks each year to blow on singing novelty items and BBQ-flavored SNUS.

Finally, April 1st is special for me as it's the day I got married, wayyyyy back when. This year Ex-y and I are quietly celebrating our 25th Divorce Anniversary... in seperate states, and seperate states of mind. All the worst, honey.



john boehnerFebruary 10, 2011: "We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner.

So far the list of Republican accomplishments for 2011 is:

(1) Attempted curtailing of abortion rights.
(2) Attempted defunding of Planned Parenthood.
(3) Attempted defunding of NPR.
(4) Investigating Muslims.
(5) Declaring English as America's Official Language.
(6) Reaffirming "In God We Trust".
(7) Challenging AARP's tax-exempt status.
(8) Approved defunct funding for failed religious schools.

Nope. No job creation here. Move along. Move along.


Fox News Lies!And what lies is Fox News spewing lately? Rand Paul revealed that Fox News hosts were moaning that they couldn't bash the president for appearing strong by bombing Libya. The poor babies.

end rant

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"Glass Onion" rare bootleg by The Beatles

Today's amazing mystery comic is:


Raging Pencils is a chemical conceit of:

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Today's Google Chow.

Here, I made this you.

What is it?

It's mostly drain cleaner, brake fluid and hydrochloric acid. If you smoke it it'll get you high but it'll also rot your teeth and probably kill you.

Dude! This is meth! Why on Earth would you...?

Oh, I get it. This is when you say April Fool's.

No, this is where you give me $25.