Hiss
and Hers
 Whenever
some pious parasite gets militantly in my face
about my lack of faith in the holy Bibble I
always
respond
"Good,
let's
talk about Genesis."
This is because there is hardly a printed
line in the whole of Genesis that isn't
a
big,
fat
wad
of unsupportable contradiction, with a side
order of WTF. It's bad enough that people accept
this lampoonable nonsense
without
scrutiny but the worst part is it's clear they
haven't even read it.
For instance, take the part where the serpent convinces
Eve to eat of the Fruit of Knowledge. We all "know" that
it's Satan in serpent's clothing, doing his usual schtick,
but Genesis never says that. The serpent is only
referred
to as
"the
most cunning
of God's
beasts" not
as "Satan disguised as a serpent." Of
course, after God discovers that Eve has raided his Heavenly
Pantry He
summarily rips the legs and arms off every serpent on
Earth as punishment.
Yeah, doesn't
sound fair to me, either. I mean, God intentionally created
the serpent to be a meddling dick. Why punish the slick-talking
bastard for following his programming?
So how does Satan figure into all this?
Glad you asked.
Lonnng after Genesis was written, hundreds of years later, Revelations appears.
In it Satan is described as a serpenty-kinda-dragon. "Ah-HA!" said the Biblical
scholars, "That means that the serpent in Genesis had to have been Satan himself."
Sigh.
Yes, the Bible retcons Satan.
Genesis never mentions Satan. In fact, Genesis goes into some detail about how
everything was void and then, Tah-Dah!, Earth and all its inhabitants appear.
There's nothing about God's
favorite angel. Nada. Zip. Nothing.
Clearly the Bibble's snake story is just another mythic folktale about how one
of evolutions's most successful designs ended up slithering around without the
benefit of appendages. It's
not unlike the stories about how the tiger got his stripes or how Republicans
were born
without hearts. That last one I never understood.
=Lefty=
PS, yes, I added a coupe of panels to the comic. Consider it a bonus.
------------
 February
10, 2011: "We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." -
John Boehner.
Still waiting, John.
------------
 And
what is Fox News spewing lately? Lies that they were being used
as human shields by Libya.
If you don't watch Fox News please request that your local cable provider remove
them from your monthly bill by calling them about it at three in the morning.
|
