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The Atheist Calendar

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Six Days A Week

time thingtIt's 2011 by Western reckoning but it's simultaneously the Hebrew year of 5771 and the Chinese calendar year of 4709. The Romans used to have an 8-day week but changed to a 7-day week between the 2nd and 3rd centuries. The ancient Sumerians and Babylonians had a 7-day week wholly independent of the Ten Commandments. The names of the days have changed many times over the centuries. Cthulhu only knows what system aboriginal pygmies used to count the passing of the days.

What I'm trying to say is it's all bullshit. Why not a 6-day week? Why not a single, 365-day week? (Imagine the weekend!) Actually, why do we even need to break months into weeks? Why not twelve 30 day weeks?

I've heard that the average "modern" human can keep seven things in memory at one time. Are we hard-wired in some way to accept seven of anything?

Personally, I'm for a six-day week if for no other reason than to excise the vast conceit of those who think Sunday was the literal creation of some imaginary creature in the clouds. Maybe he/she/it could only keep seven things in his/her/its memory, too.

All I know is, the days come one at a time and no faster. And here comes another one.


Anaxagoras? He was born in Greece about 500BCE and is considered by some to be the first atheist. He studied nature scientifically and thought the heavens were controlled by natural forces, not gods. Needless to say, he was a controversial figure but managed to survive to a ripe old age of 62.

john boehnerFebruary 10, 2011: "We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner.

Still waiting, John.


Fox News Lies!And what is Fox News spewing lately? Lies about trade unions and National Public Radio.

If you don't watch it please request that your local cable provider remove them from your monthly bill by calling them about it at three in the morning.


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Hi, friends! I'm Greek philosopher and noted sceptic Anaxagoras here to introduce you to the all-new 6-day Atheist Calendar. It's the new Sabbath-free ephemeris all the kids will be talking about.

What makes this all-new chronicle different are the six new exciting days that better reflect your contemporary existence:

Day One: Crapday
Day Two: Slackday
Day Three: Humpday
Day Four: Payday
Day Five: Partyday
Day Six: Sportsday

So say arrivederci to dreary old-fashioned occasions like Easter and Christmas and say HELLO to a four-day work week and all the bullshit holidays your fevered mind can conjure. Call today and we'll include a signed copy of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's birth certificate. Bye, kids!.