Trust,
But Verify
Ah,
Republicans.
Those saintly, sober, generous
souls who work ceaselessly to succor the weak
have once again thrown themselves unselfishly
into the fiery fray to save our immortal souls.
At great risk to their political futures they have banded together in the House
of Representatives to bring
forth a bill which will now and forevermore deliver all devout Americans
into the loving arms of the one, true, North American, Protestant, Caucasian
God.
If this law miraculously passes the heathen Senate and somehow avoides the treasonous
veto
pen
of
Satan's Own
President
then
every school and federal building will soon bear those most sacred of words, "In
God We Trust".
For decades Jews, socialists and accordion repairmen have waged war against the
Holy Phrase, conspiring to condemn it to the black hole of obscurity, though
there
have been
small pockets
of success. For instance, if you look close enough you can almost discern this
redeeming
phrase on the billions of coins and paper currencies that circulate throughout
our country,
but that's not enough according to the beatific Congressman J. Randy Forbes (R-VA).
According to Mr. Forbes it needs to stand out in large, bold letters on all taxpayer-funded
buildings,
those monuments to pagan deviance.
Just imagine.... atheist children will wither and die on the doorstep of their
local schools at the mere sight of the phrase, the eyeballs of homosexuals will
fall from their sockets upon entering the local DMV, muslim's will spontaneously
combust when trying to pay a traffic ticket, and members of the ACLU will simply
dissolve into a sooty pile of their own smugness.
Soon all that will be left in America are God's children and a new era of peace
and prosperity will reign. With the Lord's help there will be no crime or divorce,
no drugs or alcohol. No need for Fox News or big trucks or gambling. No guns
or porn or....
Oh, man! What the fuck are those guys thinking?
=Lefty=
------------
February
10, 2011: "We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." -
John Boehner.
So far the list of Republican accomplishemts for 2011 is:
(1) Attempted curtailing of abortion rights.
(2) Attempted defunding of Planned Parenthood.
(3) Attempted defunding of NPR.
(4) Investigating Muslims.
(5) Declaring English as America's Official Language.
(6) Reaffirming "In God We Trust".
Nope. No jobs here.
Still waiting, John.
------------
And
what is Fox News spewing lately? Lies that they were being used
as human shields by Libya.
If you don't watch Fox News please request that your local cable provider remove
them from your monthly bill by calling them about it at three in the morning.
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