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Raging Pencils Comic
The Aristocrats.

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start rant


I heart BeakerWhat I've learned over the years is that people generally prefer comics they can relate to. It is safe to say that one can never go wrong creating comics about kids or cats, or cats that think they're kids, or cats that secretly plot your demise and plan to blame it on the kids.

I hate those kinds of comics... except for that last one. I'd awake to that one each day with a golden, anticipatory glow in my heart for the mayhem to come.

My point is that I'm almost physically unable to make the former kind of comic. For good or bad I tend to delve into areas that require a modicum of investigation and more than a little morbid curiosity. The result is a comic not unlike the one above. If you "get it", I heart you. If you're puzzled, see below.

(1) David Koch is part-owner of Koch Industries and the richest man in the U.S.

He throws substantial financial support to both the Republican Party and and the Libertarian Party. Once ran for vice-president as a Libertarian. Got 1% of the vote.

He is the progenitor of the Tea Party. Needless to say, if a political entity shows any favoritism at all towards corporations David will be there, fisting it with a hand full of Kruggerands, to make sure it dances to Koch Industries tune.

(2) The Aristocrats. A 2005 film that spent two hours examining the funniest, filthiest joke ever told. Gilbert Gottfried tells the definitive version while Bob Saget tells the most side-splitting version. If you decide to watch these at work then, brother, you're on your own.

(3) The Statue of Liberty is the Libertarian Party mascot.

(4) Chateau Lafite 1787: The most expensive bottle of wine in the world. Comes with Thomas Jefferson's own signature on the bottle.

(5) "Clean Coal" is a clumsy meme the coal industry, of which Koch Industries is heavuly invested, has been  positing of late. The idea is that coal can somehow, magically, be made to burn CO2 neutrally. It can't. And ths song and dance isn't as silly as you might think as in Xmas of 2008 the coal industry created the Clean Coal Carolers, little lumps og animated coal singing such joyous songs as "Frosty the Coal Man".

(6) Grover Norquist is the Neocon's Neocon, famous for saying he'd like to shrink the government down until he could "drown it in a bathtub". What he's really saying is "I'm rich, so I'm entitled to do whatever I want. 100 mph in a school zone? Fuck you, I'm rich! Got caught torturing people? Fuck you, I'm rich! Responsible for causing an environmental disaster in the Gulf. Fuck you, I'm rich!"

(7) The Statue of Liberty is the Libertarian Party mascot.

(8) "Irving Fartzburg" is a sophomoric ethnic gag.

(9) Pocket watch. Who the fuck knows.

Mea culpa: I added the panel featuring the coal minstrel group after initial "publication". I knew it needed a little extra something to make it feel more like a show-biz act but I ran terribly short of time Thursday night.


end rant

Raging Pencils salutes the Mystery Readers of
Truro, Nova Scotia
Whoever you are, thanks for reading my delicious little 'toon.

Today's mystery web comic is:


Raging Pencils is an aristocratic conceit of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
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Today's Google Chow.

The office of Irving Fartzburg, theatrical agent:

Irving: What have you for me today, David?

An amazing new act!

I begin with a disarming puppet act, seducing the rubes into my confidence by enhancing their latent paranoid xenophobia.

To enhance the apparent difficulty I simultaneously quaff a bottle of Chateau Lafite 1787.

I then send out my boys to perform a little musical number.

"Clean Coal, how I love ya, how I love ya, myyyyy dear old clean Coal! Yok-yok-yok!"

Finally a rousingly patriotic finale in which I drown the government in a bathtub.

Irving: Excellent. So tell me, my dear Mr. koch... what do you
call this act of yours?

David Koch: What else? The Aristocrats.