Whither Leeroy?

Anyone who denies the freedom of others doesn’t deserve the freedom they enjoy.

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I hope I'm not the last person on Earth to remember the legend that is Leeroy Jenkins.

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The Ludicrously Wealthy....

1. Don't Need Health Insurance.
"Why would anyone give one's money to a corporation that will dictate one's medical needs? When the time comes I will just have my accountant forward the funds for a replacement kidney. Just an example, of course. And if I don't need health insurance, then why should anyone else?"

2. Don't Need Social Security.
"Why does anyone need money from the government when they surely have inherited generational wealth like I do? Besides, who can live on $2000 a month? If I tipped that little at Le Bernadin I'd lose my favorite table, and it's polo season! More to the point, since no one I know needs Social Security then why leave all that money just sitting there in a trust fund? Invest it in something fun, like my crypto."

3. Don't Need Affordable Housing.
"All housing is affordable, darling. Just find a dozen homes with scenic views like I did and you'll always have a place to stay when the season's change. Now was that so hard?"

4. Don't Need Higher Wages.
"Wages are not real money. That's just a word to make slaves happy. And one never gives a slaves more than they need, because that's how you make sure they stay slaves. Don't get me wrong, though, as slaves are really useful as long as you don't have to talk to them, because they're uneducated. If they were smart they'd have invested in Blue Chip stocks decades ago. And if everyone lived off their stock portfolios instead of providing menial labor this would be a perfect world, right?"

5. Don't Need Lower Food Prices.
"How can food ever be unaffordable? Every time I go to Chez Esscessive' or have the maid peel me a grape flown in by my own private airline I am never disappointed. No one ever told me I can't afford food and no one ever will! You understand me? If people are hungry in this country then they should just force themselves to eat."

6. Don't Need Democracy
"The Constitution is such a quaint document. Don't do this, don't do that. I understand what it's trying to accomplish but, honestly, it's just a nuisance when I really want to get something done. Like, for example, overthrow a government that is sitting on a vast reserve of natural resources. But all you hear is a bunch of poor nobodies complaining about this Amendment or that Amendment. It's all so tiresome. Especially voting. It's so much easier to buy congressmen and judges and heads of state and then just do things MY way."

7. Never Worry About The Law
"Laws? Laws... hmmmm. Oh, you mean those silly rules my lawyer talks about whenever he needs me to write a check. He calls me every now and again and tells me I did something other people consider 'wrong' but how can it be wrong if a little money makes it go away? Money is law and law is money. It's just that simple."

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If you're reading this that means you and the absurdly rich do not think alike. You think paycheck-to-paycheck and they think generation-to-generation. They are why America can't be the same European socialist-democracy that we, the not-rich, so admire.

And it's also why Iran was attacked because it was planned by these greedy scum decades ago.

- Lefty