Low Blows

The thing about this image is that if I'd drawn any other president "smoking Russian cigars" you'd go "Nope. Not possible."

But since we're talking about Weenie Mussolini....

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We've reached the point in the Epstein saga where the frequent flyer of the Lolita Express is almost literally covering his magically-healed ear(s) with his tiny Revlon-slathered hands and screaming "LA-LA-LA-LA-IT'S-ALL-A-HOAX-LA-LA-LA-LA-IT-MUST-HAVE-BEEN-SOME-OTHER-REAL-ESTATE-FRAUD-WHO-RAPED-THOSE-TEENAGED-GIRLS-WHO-LOOKED-REMARKABLY-SIMILAR-TO-MY-DAUGHTER-LA-LA-LA-LA-PERSON-MAN-WOMAN-CAMERA-TV!"

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Federal judges have declared Mango McGoon's tariffs are illegal, which means he might have to return $200 billion dollars.

You know what THAT means?

Exactly! America's CEO's are going to be $200 billion dollars richer.

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Trump is claiming that he’s settled seven wars. I think what he meant to say was that he settled with seven whores.

You know, Big Oil, Big Pharma, Melania…

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News Flash: The U.S. Navy fatally attacked an alleged Venezuelan drug-boat.

I got questions.

Was this a "fatal" strike in the same way that we "obliterated" the Iranian nuke bunker?

Does "alleged" indicate our navy attacked a boat in the open ocean without any proof of guilt?

Is our navy unable to more reasonably stop and board a suspected drug ship?

Is attacking hopelessly outgunned watercraft flying foreign flags primarily meant to stiffen the mizzenmasts of bloodlusty American patriots?

Will this be the ultimate heroic act that finally earns the King of Europe his long sought Nobel Peace Prize?

Is this another attempt by the Cardiac Kid to shift focus from the Epstein files and his inability to walk in a straight line?

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Our Tin-pot Sociopath is moving Space Command from Colorado (Sensible Democratic Blue state) to Alabama (Red Hat-infested Racist Grift-hole) for what I'm sure are perfectly sensible reasons.

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I think it's fair to say that conservative voters were opposed to Kamala Harris and Barack Obama not just because of their surplus melanin content but because of their names, which they no doubt consider weird. Conservatives prefer their George's and Donald's, the kind of names they read in first grade primers.

("See Donnie grift. Grift, Donnie, grift. See Donnie chase Suzie. Run, Suzie, run.")

Which means this country is currently in the inept clutches of a tinpot sociopath partially because too many people couldn't agree on which syllable of "Kamala" to stress.

I wonder what those voters would think of the names of political candidates like Habakkuk or Gamaliel or Bezalel or Jazreel or Zaphnathpaaneah. You know, actual Bible names.

- Lefty