Cutting Commentary!

Hey, remember when I shared my story yesterday of being waylaid by food poisoning?

Well, it gets better.

After a trip to urgent care I discovered that I have Covid, a variant I didn't even know about. And you know what it's nicknamed?

The "razor blade throat" Covid.

There is no better description for this mother, and it SUCKS, but at least it has the decency to stay out of the lungs so while it may not kill you you're going to REALLY regret not washing your hands, slathering yourself with hand-sanitizer, and wearing your goddamned mask.

My doctor gave me a prescription for Paxlovid which I quickly discovered (1) costs about $1500 and (2) couldn't help me because I was just outside the effective treatment range, five days, so I get to tough it out until next week.

The funny thing about this bout of Covid is that more than one of my friends have told me "You NEVER get sick!", which is true. The last time I took ill was with Omicron in, oh, 2021?

But, if you think about it, I'm still not "sick" as, epidemiologically speaking, this is no less an accident should I have been bonked on the head by a passing asteroid. In this case a passing virus that may have missed me had I been looking in the opposite direction.

That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

PS, This covid variant attacks the vocal chords. When I arrived at Urgent Care I croakd out to the staff, the medical assistant, and the doctor that I had "RFK disease". No one laughed.

I'm too hip for the triage.

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Just because my life wasn't "interesting" enough, this morning a massive black SUV, no visible license plates, equipped with a push bar and smoked windows parked itself at the end of my driveway for over an hour with the motor running.

I know my neighborhood very well and this may have been a flying saucer firing Selena Gomez Oreos in all directions. It was totally out of place.

After I stared at it for a while from my front door it slid into gear and trundled on. Unfortunately I was too interested in the mystery to grab my camera so it got away clean.

Me? I'm not paranoid. Who said anything about being paranoid. No, YOU'RE paranoid.

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I'm incensed by this monstrous Republican bill but the continued description of it as "big and beautiful" is like a Jedi mind trick on mentally-retarded Storm Troopers. Which aptly describes the MAGA voter base.

I originally planned to do a cartoon about this fascist BBB by couching it in terms of MAGA fairy tales but I didn't think the stories approached the subject with enough spiteful specificity, so here are the endings of the best three:

"Then the big bad beautiful wolf ate Red Riding Hood all up because he had the blessing of the King and no one coulld stop him."

"But Snow White died after eating the big beautiful apple because funds to the wasteful and fraudulent poison control had been cut by her stepmother."

"Jack stole the golden goose but was caught by the Giant’s big beautiful immigration patrol and banished to a Venezuelan folk tale forever."

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Finally, a talented friend of mine is selling a snarky selection of coffee mugs, called "Mean Muggs", and a hand-crafted line of fancy pet houses at "Bartech Builders". Lots and lots of designs. Check 'em out.





- Lefty