It Do Be Like This

Trump is planning to shut down the Department of Education but not the Department of Special Education, better known as Republican Party Headquarters.

And where is the DoSE?

Just a short-bus ride down the block from the Capitol.

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Trump just halted half a billion dollars in food aid to Americans.

On reflection Marie Antoinette's answer of "Let them eat cake" when told the people were hungry kinda pales in comparison to Trump's "Let 'em eat my ass."

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Two numbers to remember:

$22 billion dollars: The amount undocumented immigrants pay into Social Security each year.

$0: Amount the undocumented get from Social Security.

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It wouldn't surprise me at this point if Elon "Engineering Genius" Musk's answer to his cars going up in flames is to trade the stainless steel for asbestos.

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I hear His Royal Feculence claims he got Russia to agree to a cease-fire on Ukrainian infrastructure.

But Russia already signed an agreement like that... in 1949.

It was called the Geneva Convention.

Ah, but the Geneva Convention, the Constitution... who pays attention to old useless stuff like that anymore?

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Trump cozies up to Putin and NATO says "Hey! Why should we buy weapons from this lunatic?"

So now EU nations are preparing to roll their own, meaning U.S. manufacturing jobs are going to be on the line. Lots of them.

But don't worry.... the U.S. military budget will continue to hover around a trillion a year because there are always plenty of palms to grease.

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Creatures with the shortest lifespan:

• Mayfly
• Luna moth
• Mosquito
• United Health CEO driving a Tesla

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I'm currently 100% extra-peeved at NPR because it's pledge time and they're horribly worried about the 8% federal funding that Trump may take away.

Pardon me, local NPR station, whom I'm faithfully supported for decades, but for the past two years I listened to you normalizing that fat orange rapist instead of concentrating on the absolute gibberish that has emanated from his lying pie-hole. I heard the carefully curated, semi-normal sound-bites his campaign insisted you broadcast during the news breaks instead of leading with "Holy fuck! Putin's puppet is talking about magnets and sharks now! There's something wrong with that man, besides all the raping and fraud and insurrection, that is."

But no, you ran with the Heritage Foundation's "Biden's too old" crap for months on end. And just this week I heard an NPR interviewer ask a Democratic representative "Should the Democrats face criticism for not standing (at the SOTU) for the little boy with cancer?"

I proceeded to throw things at the radio for about hour because that was NOT the whole story.

The question should have been "Since the Republicans cut child cancer research funding shortly before Trump's speech don't you think the Democrats should have all stood as one, dropped their shorts, and farted in Trump's general direction at this obvious attempt at cynical propaganda?"

You, NPR, were often as guilty of poisoning public opinion about the Democratic Party as fucking Fox News. You are the makers of the slightly uncomfortable bed you now seem unhappy to nap in. Too bad, so sad.

If Trump takes away your funding I say "Good, you earned this corpulent, orange wad of unhappiness."

But I'm not worried for your future. Not in the least. I have little doubt the progressive public will dig deep to make up the difference. They wouldn't want to miss all those driveway moments.

Don't get me wrong, NPR, you're important as a self-described "independent news source" but maybe you need to grab a dictionary and become a little more familiar with the actual meaning of that phrase.

Final Technical note: I had spent most of Wednesday creating a cartoon and, at the end of the day, hated it. You can see it here but it's not making the final cut. So today's 'toon, Thursday, is really the Wednesday 'toon, so we'll see you Friday with something new, eventually.

- Lefty