Merry Calculus!

"Yello! This is the Big Kahuna. Mary? Yeah, sure, I remember her. Cute little brunette I met at a shindig in Bethlehem summer before last. Did I schtup her? Well, yeah, in spirit. But she was still a virgin afterwards, okay? I mean, I'm no monster and she was kinda underage at the time. She what? When? Really? No way! What the Hell kind of name is Jesus? So what's she saying about me? .....shit. Well, I guess I need to put a positive spin on this before the press gets hold of it. How about we tell the scribes that I sent the kid down there to, uh, to give everyone eternal life. Yeah! That oughta work, and no one will ever to be able to prove otherwise. Yeah, I could flood the world again if things go pear-shape but, man,you shoulda seen my water bill that month. Anyway, thanks for calling, Satan. Love to the missus."

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Holiday Notes: I'm going to be mostly offline until the 27th of December, at least. Any and all Comments from Sunday onward will take a while to be approved but I'll do my best to help you vent those ornery spleens.

Most importantly, here's to a safe and happy holiday to you all, and many more to come. Excelsior!