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The progressive web comic about the GOP stealing the next election.

start rant

Rising Gorge

Nope, I'm not dead from coronavirus. Just overwhelmed, again, by the sheer weight of lunacy, madness, hate, greed, and spite that spills out of the White House every freaking day.


Wouldja believe I wrote the joke for this comic, got about half-way through coloring it, then discovered that Rolling Stone Magazine had just published an article outlining exactly how the GOP will try to steal the next election?

Small world.


This is going to be a really, REALLY unpopular opinion:

Trump has absolutely no chance of winning the 2020 election. That being said, he will still be the "president" until 2025. At least.

I say this knowing with every atom in my body that the Republican Party will do anything to keep Trump in office and thus continue to dance at the end of Vladimir Putin's leash.


They haven't loaded the federal benches with racist drones for four years, nor empowered a power-hungry toad to be Attorney General, nor kept their powder dry in the Republican Senate, blindly allowing Trump to do whatever he wanted, just to lose their chance at real totalitarianism now.

Trump's associates, both private and governmental, will commit a breathtaking assortment of nefarious shenanigans behind the scenes this fall in an effort to affect the vote in Trump's favor. Whereupon, after his Inaugural, he will pardon them. That is, if there are any Inspector Generals left who haven't yet pledged their troths to Trump. The remaining IG's will be left choosing between keeping their jobs and their sweet government pensions or honestly doing their investigative duties only to be replaced by one of Trump's pool boys.

Let's not forget covid-19, which Trump is seemingly sowing like kudzu in every corner of this country. We could honestly be at millions of new infections a week by November. Think that would affect voter turnout much?

The vote tally will resemble 2016. An overwhelming majority of votes will be for Biden but, gosh darn it, millions of votes in Red states will have to be thrown out because they were the wrong size or shape or color or scent. If there were enough ballots at all, that is.

Red states are funny that way.

Trump will, in the end, triumph by some obscure legal maneuver the general public is yet unaware of, and the Supreme Court will likely be involved. Again.

But, hey, prove me wrong. Go vote like you don't want a despotic apocalypse staring back at you every time you peel back the flaps of the tent you and your family will find themselves living in under an overpass. Get out there and vote Blue in such overwhelming numbers that even Louis Gohmert, the stupidest man in Congress, or Mitch McConnell, the the World's Oldest Living Shit Stain, will say "All right! We get it. We get it!"

Alternative Theory: Trump loses the election but leaves behind a country on the brink of receivership: No jobs, the people rioting over food, everyone sick with disease, GDP in the fucking toilet. Four years of only marginal improvements, due to limited tax revenue, accompanied by four years of Fox News demonizing Biden and it will be Mitt Romney running against a black, female veep in 2024 since Biden probably won't be good for another four years in the Oval Office.

This is where the White Supremacist movement rises again, as it will go absolutely ape-shit crazy at the prospect of a black woman president.

Then it's "Hello, President Vulture Capitalist." Mitt is TrumpII, same guy diffrent tie, except with an actual human brain and a working knowledge of how to properly vivisect a country for the benefit of his "investors".

Then we're REALLY fucked.


Who didn't experience a mild blast of schadenfreude over the Chuck Woolery and Kevin Stitt, governor of Oklahoma, stories? Both of these wastes of RNA went full anti-science apeshit over the "reality" of covid-19, only to either find themselves (Stitt) or their son (Woolery) infected by the disease.


Did the Giant Orange Man-Baby demote campaign manager Brad Parscale because he was lousy at his job or was it because Brad was boinking t-Rump's Wife-number-four-in-waiting, Hope Hicks?

As for the demotion, why wasn't Parscale simply fired?
Could it have something to do with the $180,000 a year that he pays to Eric Trump's wife and Don Jr.'s girlfriend for "various roles" off the FEC books using his own dough?



t-Rump lawyers: "Your honor, we come before the court today in order to protect our client's right to keep his taxes private."

Judge: "Yes, but your client said in 2016 that, quote, "If I ran for president I would produce my taxes, and I would love to do that." Unquote. As I understand it, Mr. Trump, in fact, ran for president but has since kept his taxes hidden behind a thin veil of audits. So tell me, are you standing here calling your client a liar in open court?"

Lawyer: "Your Honor, if I may...."

Judge: "Hush! Since this court session is only the fevered dream of a true American patriot and lover of cats I rule that your client is a giant, fetid boob and should therefore relinquish his taxes immediately. And he should also stand before the Justice Department building with a chamber pot on his head and holding a large sign that says "I am a codfish!" for the period of two weeks. Court adjourned. I need a drink!"


The Supreme Court recently gave t-Rump the green light to execute people.

It's just a coincidence that this happened now.

I mean, it's totally impossible that GOP election fuckery will reinstall t-Rump for another four years and allow him and his DOJ to start killing his political enemies for "treason".

Yeah, just a coincidence.


end rant

News & Notes for July 16, 2020

Mary Trump thinks Ivanka is a useless twat.

Rupert Murdoch's son and daughter donate two million dollars to biden campaign.

Trump shuts down the CDC covid-19 tracking service.

The Supreme Court just stopped one million low-income Floridians from voting.

The Trump family believes rules don't apply to them.

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Classic Raging Crappola
black lives matter comic
Black Lives.


Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)
Trump: Have you seen these polls? I'm going to lose the election in a landslide!
GOP elephant: Don't worry! We're doing everything we can to make sure that you don't lose.
(sniff) Everything? You mean, just like last time?
Gop: Well, yes, but different. They'll never see it coming.
Yay! Let's go see who Putin wants me to kill next.
Gop: That's our boy.

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