Rising
Gorge
Nope,
I'm not dead from
coronavirus. Just
overwhelmed,
again, by the sheer
weight of lunacy,
madness, hate, greed,
and spite that spills
out of the White
House every freaking
day.
---------------
Wouldja
believe I wrote the
joke for this comic,
got about half-way
through
coloring
it, then discovered
that Rolling
Stone Magazine had
just published an
article
outlining exactly
how the GOP will
try
to steal the next
election?
Small world.
----------
This is going to
be a really, REALLY
unpopular opinion:
Trump
has absolutely no
chance of winning
the 2020 election.
That being said,
he will still be
the "president" until
2025. At least.
I say this knowing
with every atom in
my body that the
Republican Party
will do anything
to keep Trump in
office and thus continue
to dance at the end
of Vladimir Putin's
leash.
Anything.
They haven't loaded
the federal benches
with racist drones
for four years, nor
empowered a power-hungry
toad to be Attorney
General, nor kept
their powder dry
in the Republican
Senate, blindly
allowing
Trump to do whatever
he wanted,
just to lose their
chance at real totalitarianism
now.
Trump's associates,
both private and
governmental, will
commit a breathtaking
assortment of nefarious
shenanigans behind
the scenes this fall
in an effort
to affect the
vote
in
Trump's favor.
Whereupon,
after his Inaugural,
he will pardon them.
That is, if there
are any Inspector
Generals left who
haven't
yet pledged their
troths to Trump.
The remaining IG's
will be left choosing
between keeping their
jobs and their sweet
government pensions
or honestly
doing their investigative
duties only to be
replaced by one
of
Trump's
pool boys.
Let's not forget
covid-19, which Trump
is seemingly sowing
like kudzu in every
corner of this country.
We could honestly
be at millions of
new infections a
week by November.
Think that would
affect voter turnout
much?
The vote tally will
resemble 2016. An
overwhelming majority
of votes will be
for Biden but,
gosh darn it,
millions of votes
in Red states will
have
to be thrown out
because
they were the wrong
size or shape or
color or scent. If
there were enough
ballots
at
all, that is.
Red states are funny
that way.
Trump will, in the
end, triumph by some
obscure legal
maneuver the general
public is yet
unaware of, and the
Supreme
Court
will likely be involved.
Again.
But, hey, prove me
wrong. Go vote like
you don't
want a despotic apocalypse
staring back at you
every time you peel
back the flaps of
the tent you
and your family will
find themselves living
in under an overpass.
Get out there and
vote Blue in such
overwhelming numbers
that even Louis Gohmert,
the
stupidest man in
Congress, or Mitch
McConnell, the the
World's Oldest Living
Shit Stain, will
say "All right!
We get it. We get
it!"
Alternative Theory:
Trump loses the election
but leaves behind
a country
on the brink of receivership:
No jobs, the people
rioting over food,
everyone sick with
disease, GDP in the
fucking toilet. Four
years of only marginal
improvements, due
to limited tax revenue,
accompanied by four
years of
Fox
News
demonizing Biden
and it will be Mitt
Romney running against
a black, female veep
in 2024 since Biden
probably won't be
good for
another
four years in the
Oval Office.
This is where the
White Supremacist
movement rises again,
as it will
go absolutely ape-shit
crazy at the prospect
of
a black woman
president.
Then it's "Hello,
President Vulture
Capitalist."
Mitt is TrumpII,
same guy diffrent
tie, except with
an actual human brain
and a working knowledge
of how to properly
vivisect a country
for the benefit of
his "investors".
Then we're REALLY
fucked.
----------
Who didn't experience
a mild blast of schadenfreude
over the Chuck Woolery
and Kevin Stitt,
governor of Oklahoma,
stories? Both of
these wastes of RNA
went full anti-science
apeshit over the
"reality" of covid-19,
only to either find
themselves (Stitt)
or their son (Woolery)
infected by the disease.
---------
Did the Giant Orange
Man-Baby demote campaign
manager Brad Parscale
because he was lousy
at his job or was
it because Brad was
boinking t-Rump's
Wife-number-four-in-waiting,
Hope Hicks?
As for the demotion,
why wasn't Parscale
simply fired?
Could it have something
to do with the $180,000
a year that he pays
to Eric Trump's wife
and Don Jr.'s girlfriend
for "various
roles" off the
FEC books using his
own dough?
HmmmMMMMMMMM?
-----------
t-Rump lawyers: "Your
honor, we come before
the court today in
order to protect
our client's right
to keep his taxes
private."
Judge: "Yes,
but your client said
in 2016 that, quote, "If
I ran for president
I would produce my
taxes, and I would
love to do that." Unquote.
As I understand it,
Mr. Trump, in fact,
ran for president
but has since kept
his taxes hidden
behind a thin veil
of audits. So tell
me, are you standing
here calling your
client a liar in
open court?"
Lawyer: "Your
Honor, if I may...."
Judge: "Hush!
Since this court
session is only the
fevered dream of
a true American patriot
and lover of cats
I rule that your
client is a giant,
fetid boob and should
therefore relinquish
his taxes immediately.
And he should also
stand before the
Justice Department
building with a chamber
pot on his head and
holding a large sign
that says "I
am a codfish!" for
the period of two
weeks. Court adjourned.
I need a drink!"
---------
The Supreme Court
recently gave t-Rump
the green light to
execute people.
It's just a coincidence
that this happened
now.
I mean, it's totally
impossible that GOP
election fuckery
will reinstall t-Rump
for another four
years and allow him
and his DOJ to start
killing his political
enemies for "treason".
Yeah, just a coincidence.
=Lefty=
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