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Progressive comic about Trump raising tariffs on Chinese goods again.

start rant

What They Should Say

"Welcome to the third Democratic debate. We'll begin our questions with candidate Smith, and we'd like to start by asking about your record where it says..."

Smith: "Ah, my record. Isn't it amazing that I have one? An actual record of public service, that is? A record that gives you a solid indication of exactly what kind of government administrator I've been and will continue to be. It's not safeguarded by a murder of lawyers or an Attorney General who is personally in thrall to Vladimir Putin. It's not hidden down a flight of broken stairs, at the end of a dark hallway, in a locked filing cabinet to which no one has the key and over which hangs a large sign saying "Beware of the leopard."

Since you read my record you'll no doubt notice that I had an admirable GPA in college and that I graduated near the top of my class. You'll also see that I've always paid my fair share of taxes and that I've been in love with the same person for 34 years and have children who have made me proud to be a parent.

Yes, there are probably things in my record you can micro-focus on to make it look as though I'm some kind of monster for the benefit of a salacious Fox News sound-bite but, hey, guess what? Nowhere in my record does it say, or will it ever say, that I colluded with this nation's enemies to earn my job. Nowhere does it say I had multiple bankruptcies, abused minorities, molested women or that I was close friends with pedophiles.

I am not perfect. No one is. But I guarantee the only thing you'll find in my record is that I've led the kind of life that every American would be proud to leave as their legacy.

So, yeah, ask me about my record. C'mon. Bring it on."


end rant

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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

What Trump said today: I'm raising tariffs on Chinese goods.
What Trump voters heard: I'm gonna kick their asian asses.
What educated people heard: You're going to pay more for everything.
What economists heard: I have no idea what I'm doing.

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